Can You Fight Change?

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Why am I having such a hard time upgrading my phone to the new iOS 7? I still have my phone running iOS 5!! My phone has like a minor stroke trying to load any app at all! Even sending and receiving text messages is a struggle for my poor helpless phone. Ah well, I hate the look of the new update software. Too much like android. Screw android! They can lick my ball sack! I wanted apple products! Not android!

Oh! And I quit my crappy job of four years! That’s change! Not to mention, the greatest feeling in the world! Woohoo!

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So my main reason for this post is…. Well, I don’t even know! This is just random babble as ALWAYS 🙂

Matt has his work Christmas party tomorrow and after two years of saying no to going, I said yes. What a retard. Who am I kidding?! I don’t want to go, I hate dressing up! Apparently there is a no Jeans/tights dress code. Great, and here I was thinking I was going to wear a wife beater and overalls :/

I hate these things and I hate dressing up! Mainly cause I never know what to wear! All the girls now a days wear those skanky short dresses and skirts. Me, I want to dress like a Nonna!

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First world problems.

Tis The Season

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I think I can relate this to my previous post. More like an update or continuation per-say. Still haven’t figured anything out nor, do I know where I’m headed still. But I AM making changes. I know for a fact I need to quit one of the places I currently work at, that is slowly but surely taking my soul. Like sucking fucking life vampires. By December, I will have told them to politely kiss my ass as I walk out the front door. I have plenty of interviews coming up throughout the rest of November which gives me hope. They may have to do with my current profession at the moment. But, until I decide to make any serious life decisions that could set me back in life, I need to know I have exhausted all my options and opportunities in my field. Who knows, maybe it is this place that has been setting me back and making it impossible for me to thoroughly enjoy what I do.

Anyway’s! This post is supposed to be uplifting! The annual Santa Claus Parade was in town yesterday which has always been a favourite of mine. Although I’ve never actually gone, watching it on t.v in the comforts of my own home always makes me happy :). I am a total Christmas Slut. I mean that in a positive way I promise! Decorating trees, putting the lights up, baking (trying not to eat what I bake), wearing Santa hats and antlers, those God awful Christmas sweaters that everyone wants to set on fire! Yep, a Christmas freak. Not to mention listening to Christmas music 24/7 and constantly painting my nails in Christmas colours and themes! Did I mention I decorate my bedroom with garland and lights!?! I just love the winter season! It makes me all warm and giddy!

It is also the season where my parents freak out cause I have candles and incenses lit everywhere throughout the house :D. *Ahem* Fire bug *ahem*

People who try and hate on Christmas or my obsessive annoying love for it can kiss my ass and stay away from me! I don’t need you to bring me down! I got enough negativity to do that myself!

Well, I have an interview in the next 15 minutes! Wish me luck! HoHoHoe!

Early Midlife Crisis

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Seriously, I do. I’ve hit a point in my life where I’m questioning everything that I’m doing and why. Where am I going? What will I do next?

I feel completely useless at this point in my life and why? Because I don’t have a University Bachelor’s Degree! Apparently in today’s society, unless you have a community college Diploma or University Degree, you are considered stupid and not worthy to hire. Are you joking?!

I’m going to share a small personal story of my life. I started working at the age of 12-13 years old. All throughout high-school, I continued to  work a physically taxing job as a waitress, destroying my body through it’s developmental years. Why? All this to save up money to go to college where I decided to enrol in ECE (Early-hood Child Education)  It was a split program where two years were spent in college, the other 2 in University. After that I would of been off to teachers college. After the first year and two semesters later, I was broke from paying my tuition. I forgot to mention I applied for OSAP, but was declined or offered next to nothing, I can’t remember exactly. Anyway’s, I had no choice but to drop out and continue working to make enough money to go back to school.

After 6 months of working hard, I decided to try and go back to school. During the 6 months I had off to work and think, I had ran into many other options of what I could possibly do. I love science. Absolutely love it to death. I also loved the healthcare field and helping people. I couldn’t afford to go to University unless I was granted OSAP, College wasn’t doing it either in terms of tuition. Next best thing was private College. I decided to learn a profession in healthcare. Somehow I managed to work enough hours to pay off the tuition as I went through school. After two years, I graduated, shortly after did my board exams and got my licence in 2010 and have been working as a Registered Healthcare Practitioner for almost 4 years now. Shortly after followed that up with another two forms of holistic healthcare professions. I’m great at what I do and I love helping people. So what is the problem?

I am physically drained and falling apart. Yesterday during one of my treatments, my bloody clavicle dislocated and popped out. I am a complete and total wreck with one injury occurring after the other. If you look at an X-ray of my body, I look like a lopsided MONSTER! I cried when I saw my own X-rays of my spine for the first time! I questioned the Chiropractor how I could possibly look like that on the inside but, show no signs on the outside. Apparently my meat suit is more durable then my interior.

Looking for other forms of employment, I notice all of them require a community College degree/diploma or a University Degree. I am basically considered USELESS without ONE! So now what?!?!

I am scared of what my future holds next and I am overwhelmed with anxiety. Should I go back to school? Can I even afford it?! Is it worth putting myself through finical debt?!  What if I fail?! Am I smart enough for University? Will I have to take math?!?! (I’d rather die then take math..I literally stopped at BEDMAS)

My main fear is having to take steps backwards instead of forwards. I feel like I have wasted all this time, and destroyed my 23 year old body for nothing. The fact that I’m self-hating is pathetic which is the only word I can use right now to describe such an emotion. There are people out there who have it way worse then I do and, probably with alot less options at hand.

*Sigh* Just in a rut I guess…

That was longer then I expected. Well there yah go. Now you know why I am being pathetic and hopeless on a blog site that in all honestly, you could care less about.

I’ll go back to being my rude crude self again. That always makes me feel better!

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How To Lose 10 Pounds in 5 Days

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I’m here to share with you my secret to losing 10 pounds in literally 5 days with 6 easy steps!

Step 1- Go on Vacation to the Caribbean (Cuba, Dominican etc.)

Step 2- Eat EVERYTHING. Seriously. Try and eat only 3 times a day with a few snacks in between. But when you do eat, especially at the buffet, try everything.

Step 3- Drink EVERYTHING. Even if you are warned not to consume water unless its bottled. Or to avoid drinks with high amounts of coconut milk because it might upset your stomach. Drink it anyways.

Step 4- Contract Travellers Diarrhea. You may be thinking at this point if not already, “What the fuck is wrong with this moron?!”… It’s okay, I promise you. You’ll thank me later.

Step 5- Spend 99.8% of your life for the next 5 days in the bathroom. To pass the time; create a source of entertainment for yourself. I can guarantee you it gets lonely in there. I like to bastardize songs like “wrecking ball” by Miley Cyrus.
Example- “It came out like a wrecking ball, I’ve never shit so hard before” etc.

Last but not least…

Step 6- Enjoy your new body. After spending 5 days spewing your guts out of your asshole, you deserve to be happy. Those skinny jeans you couldn’t get past your ass will slip right on.

Oh I almost forgot. Make sure after the 5 day plan, head over to your family doctor for a visit so he can prescribe you some serious fucking drugs. Chances are you have a bug or parasite that’s eating you inside out and you could possibly die.

Please use this diet plan at your own risk. I shall not be held accountable for any casualties. I am not a professional dietitian.