Noticeable Trend

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I have my G exam tomorrow. Do you know how scary it is to take any of your driving tests in Toronto? It is soooo scary that everyone I know, does it out of the city, mainly up north. Not me. I did my G2 here, and now it’s time for my G. Only thing is…. I CAN’T PARALLEL PARK OR REVERSE PARK TO SAVE MY LIFE! Why?!? Because I never used these things! I don’t drive downtown and I always make sure I have a pull through parking spot! If I don’t at first, I drive around in circles till my ass finds one! Basically, I doomed tomorrow. *sigh* I don’t suppose staying up all night will help me pass right?

Crap!

Just For Fun

100THINGS

 

Yes, you read right! I’m bored and thought this would be something fun to do to pass time.

Well here it goes…100 things.

1) I obviously have nothing better to do since I’m doing this.

2) I love reading and writing.

3) I really enjoy drawing and being creative/artistic.

4) I also love music and anything to do with it. Playing, listening, etc.

5) I am really good with my hands.

6) Numbers 3 and 4 are examples of 5.

7) I massage people for a living. Professionally.. I’m Registered. (also refers to number 5)

8) I’m really afraid of public speaking.

9) I am horrible with communicating my feelings.

10) I hate crying. Although, I do it often.

11) I hate vomiting even more. I tend to cry after I vomit…It’s pathetic really.

12) I resent both of my parents.

13) 7 is my favourite number or anything with 7 in it.

14) I use to sing in the choir until my grade 2 teacher told me I sing like a dog.

15) My favourite colour is currently bright-lime green.

16) It use to be black. Moving up in life.

17) I’ve successfully completed ALL my laundry for the week.

18) Apparently I’m considered over emotional..

19) I like to call it being sensitive.

20) I can taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke.

21) I love video games. Pc, PlayStation, Nintendo, you name it, I’ve most likely played it.

22) I am 75% Italian, 20% German, and 5% Polish.

23) I have over 5 calendars and agendas/schedulers but never use them.

24) I have four pets currently. Two dogs and two cats.

25) One of the dogs actually belongs to me. I bought him for $800 .

26) So he’s legally mine

27) I named him Nocello.

28) I have a sister and 3 half sisters.

29) I use to have a rabbit named Pepper and a Parrot named Pete when I was younger.

30) I really need to pee.

31) I am Catholic.

32) I worked from the age of 11 at a banquet hall.

33) I had to pay for my own education if I ever wanted to amount to something.

34) If I get jealous, it’s for an actual reason.

35) I painted my toe nails bright-highlighter-Yellow cause I can.

36) I have a a bleeding heart.

37) I love helping people.

38) Number 37 conflicts with number 36.

39) I am petrified of sharks.

40) My greatest fear actually is a plane crashing into the ocean and still being alive, but then a shark eats me.

41) I realize how stupid number 40 sounds so, shut up.

42) I always have to sleep with a pillow either between or under my legs.

43) I love roller-coasters and extreme rides.

44) I will try anything at-least once!

45) But if it doesn’t please all senses, I’ll never eat it again.

46) Most people probably stopped reading this at number 4.

47) I dropped French class after grade 9.

48) I regret high school and wish I could do it over again.

49) I love to play music REALLY LOUD!

50) I actually screamed that in my head as I typed it. Thought you should know.

51) I love older music. Anything from the 50’s to late 90’s.

52) I hate my body ratio.

53) Let me rephrase that. It’s ass to love handle ratio.

54) I cannot stand romantic movies and chick flicks.

55) I only saw American Pie 1 for the first time 2 weeks ago.

56) I took up blogging a few years ago because, I think writing in a diary is lame.

57) I own and use 2 diary’s fairly often.

58) I like feedback from people that actually read the shit I write.

59) I enjoy reading other peoples blogs.

60) I’m still deciding on what to do with my life.

61) I just finished my first Real Estate course exam on Saturday.

62) I think I failed, but wont know till midweek or later.

63) I’m super impatient when it comes to waiting for grades or test results.

64) I fear failing at anything at all times.

65) I’m afraid of ending up alone.

66) I’m considered photogenic.

67) It takes me one minute and 3 seconds to do my hair.

68) I can stay up all night just laughing and telling jokes.

69) Sometimes my laugh can disturb the peace of the public.

70) I’ve been told I sound like Bart Simpson when I laugh.

71) Thank God Bart Simpson’s voice is done by a female.

72) I own EVERY season of Family Guy.

73) I can imitate Lois Griffin’s voice.

74) I love sunflowers.

75) And sunflower seeds.

76) I don’t care if people like me or not.

77) Unless they are people that have to be around me all the time.

78) I still need to pee.

79) I chew way too much gum.

80) I have gum packs everywhere.

81) My sister is 2 years younger.

82) She use to steal all my clothes and personal belongings.

83) This is why I purposely put a lock on my bedroom door.

84) I just put a piece of gum in my mouth.

85) Nom, Nom, Nom.

86) It’s spearmint. Yum.

87) My only bad habit was biting my nails but, I stopped 2 years ago.

88) First time I shaved my downstairs was in grade 7.

89) I felt bald.

90) the only reason I did it was because my best-friend told me too.

91) Math was never my forte.

92) I love spicy food.

93) Cinnamon is my favourite spice.

94) I should really go pee before I get another bladder infection or it explodes.

95) I have a horrible sweet-tooth.

96) I sometimes skip out on food, but devour dessert.

97) Especially Chocolate.

98) I carry around my Iphone and Ipod Touch.

99) I’m certain no one is reading this. (Maybe Paul =D)

100) 100! Okay I’m done. Bathroom time!

 

 

 

 

 

Large Fruit

So, keeping busy for the past few days. Studying away for my Real Estate exam that I’m pretty sure I’m going to FAIL! Since I left the class we have all been keeping each other posted via email if we’ve passed the exam. Everyday that I check my email I get another update on another classmate that has successfully passed the exam. Yippee! ….I guess when they don’t hear from me it’s safe to say I failed right?

Well on top of all this “excitement”, I recently found out on Monday that I have an Ovarian cyst. Excellent! Just what I wanted! I went for an ultrasound for my bladder that is purposely destroying my life every waking minute by inflaming it’s goddamn self for NO reason. Not to mention that I’m highly allergic to every antibiotic known to mankind! Pretty sure my purpose in life was to be terminated by itself.

Anyways, so I’m in for this bladder ultrasound when the technician goes out of his way to “inform” me of this lovely news. To my understanding, you are just an ultrasound technician and you aren’t entitled to disclose this information to me. Thanks for literally SHOWING me this cyst the size of a freaking grapefruit dangling from my right ovary.
“Look here, do you see that? Do you see what I’m looking at?”
“….. Oh you mean that large black circle that takes up 90% of the screen. Yah I see it”

He then proceeds to inform me that I need a internal ultrasound camera inspection…. A what?

” Are you sexually active?”

“….depends on what test your planning on doing”

He then shows me this full out contraption with a camera on the end of it. After staring at it for a total of 27 seconds I calmly reply with,

“… I am 100 % positive that I’m a virgin and therefor, you are forbidden to use that.”

After 15 minutes of conversing back and forth of how important this test is, he then decides to inform me that it could possibly be because of my menstrual cycle and that it could just pop on its own.

…. Okay? And if it doesn’t? Then the next option is removal right?

So let me explain to you how I’ve been trying everything in my power to purposely try as pop this thing!
I hold my breath and try and create internal pressure. I push on the area and with every thrust I scream out POP! When I don’t think it’s working I resort to yelling at it.. POP YOU SON OF A BITCH! POP!
I engage in extreme physical activity, such as explosive leg and abdominal exercises. And when I feel pain, I run to the bathroom to check in hopes to find good news…. But nope. Nada.

So! … The internal examination is on Monday and well… I DON’T WANNA 😥

Watch, it’s gunna pop during the Real Estate exam. Knowing my shitty luck, BAM In the Ovary!..Exam is on Saturday morning… *Sigh*

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Oh my Jen, what’s that freakishly large breakfast fruit doing on your OVARY -.-

International Woman’s Day

Did you know what today was?
Neither did I.

It was actually brought to my attention by a coworker who wanted to share with me what today should be about.

Apparently, woman today are NOT supposed to work. Funny, I’m sitting at work right now as I write this post. Woman are NOT supposed to cook. Woman are SUPPOSED to be appreciated….. Isn’t this supposed to be everyday? The appreciation part. Woman belong in the kitchen and I don’t believe in woman just sitting on their asses. ANYWHO the point of this post is, she has told me she asked her boyfriend purposely what today was.
His reply was “….is it our anniversary?”…No…..”… Is it the anniversary of the day you came to Canada?…”… No.

Why do men automatically think it’s an anniversary day?!

To test this theory, I tired it myself.

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See? Never fails.

But any-who! To all females everywhere, happy international woman’s day!

Romantic

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Are you a romantic?
Hell, I know I’m not. But, I do have a part of me that would like to embrace that mushy side. Somewhere deep, deep, down. I guess it’s whatever you consider romantic right?

I was scolded today by one of my girlfriends on how I’m not “romantic” enough. What the freaking hell does that even mean?!? Not romantic enough? Pfft. What list or guide is there that specifies there being enough romantic or not? I’m plenty romantic!

So I don’t like flowers or love letters, or poetry, or fancy candle light dinners. Does that make me anti romantic? Is that even a word? Did I just make that up!? You know what I like? I like wine, and music. You know what’s romantic to me? Listening to 70s or 80s music and drinking wine. Maybe even a random slow dance to set the mood. No, I’m not a jamming alcoholic, but those two do go well together.

Like come on. I know some people like all that jazzed up crap but, don’t you think that’s a little planned and unnatural? Coming home to a candle light dinner is code for, “I’m gunna hump you tonight because I have grounds too.” Before you go off on the whole “it’s a sign of appreciating” bullshit, tell me there’s no intention or motive there at all! Spur of the moment is romantic! Songza can set the mood in moments if you choose the right playlist, and I don’t mean the category “getting lucky”.

This is rambling bullshit. Moral of the story is, I’m a realist! Romance my ass!
🙂