Male and Female “Friendships”

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The ultimate statement here is; “Men and women CAN NOT be just “friends”…. Well…why the hell not?!

Why is it so difficult to carry out a healthy friendship between a male and female without ulterior motives?

Does someone in the friendship always end up falling for the other participant?

Were the opposite sex ONLY meant to connect in coitus to reproduce?

I hate the idea of this. Why can’t two people just be considered really good friends?

I understand the whole, “people in relationships should be friends first before they date” bit. And before you start with the “friend-zone” lets be honest with ourselves shall we? We can safely say that the person being put there already has feelings.
But what if, it never gets to that point? Is this even possible?!

Some like to say I am in denial about the whole thing. Others call me gullible. I call it having faith. Granted, it never successfully happens to me. Ever. Never. Not once. Looking back I can honestly say that any male friend(s) I had that were NOT considered my “boyfriend” wanted to put a ring on it. Wanted to spread their gene pool with me. Wanted to die and be buried besides me! You get the gist of
It.

Growing up, I always got along with the opposite sex more. I was a full blown Tomboy. Barbies? Nah! Hot wheels and Tonka trucks for the win! As I grew up,
sports as video games became my life, while the girls my age went shopping for 4-5 hours a day. I hated girls, mainly because we never saw eye to eye. They wanted to gossip and I wanted to make prank phone calls. They wanted to paint nails and I wanted to play in dirt!

As I went through highschool, I lost alot of my guy friends. I was always in a serious relationship so they would just back away. Forget calling them out on it, they avoid it like the plague.

Recently I has got into an argument with Matthew about how all my guy friends just want “pussy”!Excuse me? Half of them are convinced I have dong! I happen to be the most vile, non-classy female EVER. Besides my sailor mouth, belching contests, and shameless behaviour, what gave that away :)?

As of now I am on a mission! I am determined to prove to him that this “idea” or “stigma” is false! As my first test, I decided to start with my present coworker who is certain he cannot put his feelings aside, and contain a healthy friendship without wanting more.

Current test results – Negative sir.

Stay tuned for a follow up on updated progress, hopefully.

15 thoughts on “Male and Female “Friendships”

  1. Let me offer myself as a guinea pig for this “test”. I have a few good friends that are girls. Some of them are like sisters. So I’d say yes it is possible for boys and girls to be just friends. But I’d also say that it’s impossible to know what the friends really think unless they take a lie detector test. Real truth probably comes out when people get married and the friends of the opposite sex still remain in contact or drift away.

  2. Hey, sailor, looking for a good time? Kidding—couldn’t resist the temptation.

    Can the lion play nicely with the lamb? Good question. At 48, my friends are primarily guys. Female friends are more friends of women I know, but there is one exception.

    Does the exception disprove the rule, or is it an exception to the rule? Hmmmm……

    OT, my book’s out at online book sellers.

    • LMFAO! Nav! Omg, I haven’t been on WordPress in a very long time! I have some catching up to do on your blog. I’m going to start the minute I finish this reply lol. I wish there was exception to the rule. I do prefer the good company of male over a female any day. Not because I’m a sloot and want some other form of attention, but simply because I connect better and more genuine with males then females. Realistically, there are some really cool and fun girls out there, I have a handful that I personally selected to keep in my life. But the fact of the matter is, as women age, they cling to their idea life (partner, family, job) and don’t make time for their girlfriends. Men are more giving of the idea to make the time to connect with another person. Am I wrong to think this way?

      • The “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” book tells us that 10% of women socialize in the typical male fashion (and vice-versa), so you could have this aspect to your personality.

        I know that my male friendships are important, but we see one another infrequently. I know of other guys who do “the guy thing” with other guys far more often. Perhaps I am not representative of the norm. I don’t think it’s ideal to completely retreat within a marriage/relationship/family, and some intra-gender socialization is healthy. I don’t think there’s a universal formula for this, however. It may differ between individuals in a relationship / marriage, so there has to be some accommodation for this, as well.

        I’d say the important thing is to discover yourself, discover who you really are, and respect that person. If you are genuinely “one of the guys” when it comes to socializing, whether or not that isn’t the norm, then this should be accepted and respected. If your few girlfriends are actually similar to you in this regard, these are friendships worth cherishing and nurturing.

        Nice to see you back. Cheers.

  3. At the risk of sounding shallow I have to say that it depends on how the girl looks. Now let me clarify, if a girl is good looking, yes we can certainly be friends and have a great friendship but I’ll still picture her naked all the time. If she only looks ok, I’ll still picture her naked all the time. If she’s not very good looking she will picture me naked lol, jk. The thing that all these scenarios have in common is that a friendship, including a close one, is absolutely possible. I’m sure that your guy friends enjoy spending time with you but while they may not be “just looking for pussy” they certainly would accept it.

    • LOL!
      A) Looks should not matter
      B) If your friends, and that’s made clear, there should be no undressing your friend in your mind.
      C) The fact that your friend could even consider ever getting your snatch, doesn’t make you much of a good friend does it.

      • A)They don’t when it comes to friendship

        B)It really depends. Some people say they see some friends like a brother or sister so obviously those aren’t the ones I’m referring to. Here’s an example, I’m close friends with a girl but given the opportunity I would totally sleep with her. It doesn’t mean I’m trying to though, like if it ever were to happen then it would happen, but it wouldn’t be because of me.

        C)We’ll it depends. Say she was thinking about breaking up with her bf. I wouldn’t advise her to do it just so I could sleep with her. Or say she just got in a huge fight with her bf, we hung out, she got drunk, and then she wanted to $#@&, I wouldn’t precisely because she’s a friend. If it was a girl I didn’t know then I totally would (as long as I didn’t know the story).

  4. I offer myself as “guinea pig” as well and note that it is totally possible for men and women to be friends. What’s more, it is totally possible for exes to be friends. I have a number of ex-girlfriends with whom I have deep relationships and who, as a matter of fact, are helping me navigate my new singlehood and are helping me review my blog with the women’s viewpoint. I also have a number of women with who I have deep friendship. I think it all depends on the level of maturity of the people involved. We all know what “we have”. Different size, different color, etc., but it’s all the same. As I tell my doctor (a woman): “let me know if you see something you’ve never seen before!” So far, nothing to report 🙂
    What is the hang-up? The fear of rejection which comes back to a lack of love during our childhood? It’s great to have women friends. They help me understand how women think. They’ve help me develop into a highly romantic, open-hearted man not afraid of being vulnerable and throwing his heart into the ring of “love.”
    Best of luck in your “test” and let me know how I can help.

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