A Quiz you say!?

Hey Paul! Thanks for giving me something to do on my way to work! You are the best!

https://captainsspeech.wordpress.com/2021/01/21/the-captains-quiz/

THE FIRST 10

1. In the movie, Space Jam, Daffy Duck sneaks into Michael Jordan’s house to pick up his lucky basketball shorts. What animated character would you trust with your personal belongings and why?

I am actually going to say Bugs Bunny for sure. Critical thinker and responsible. Also, least likely to get caught and killed so I’ll get my shit back. ( I know we could pick ANY cartoon character.. but I loved space jam and bugs)

2.What is the chorus of your favourite song?

“And everything I can’t remember
As f***ed up as it all may seem
The consequences that I’ve rendered
I’ve gone and f***ed things up again, again”

3. Complete the sentence: I wish I could __________.

Time travel

4. What is the worst thing about pockets?

Only complaint is they are never deep enough. Also, what’s with the poor stitching? If you can’t hold 20 items without splitting, what good are you?

5. The singer, Meat Loaf, said he would do anything for love, but he won’t do that. In general, what are three things you won’t do?

I won’t do hallucinogenics, I won’t eat anything alive, I won’t get on a cruise… now that you finally watched Titanic, I’m sure you get why lol

6. Should I be concerned about your most recent Google search?

Depends. Short answer, yes.

Update: I’m now deaf in one ear

7. If there was an eighth day of the week, what would it be called, and where would you place it amongst the other seven?

Between Saturday and Sunday and it would be called “Someday”.. a day where you get some rest, some chores done, and have some fun.

8. When you look in the mirror, what do you see behind you?

The Babadook and an unmade bed

9. You can have dinner with any three people in the world, but you must dine at a fast-food restaurant. Who are you bringing and what does each person (including yourself) order off the menu?

If I could have dinner with any three people in the world.. it would be people I haven’t seen since this stupid pandemic. My boyfriend, my friend from Calgary, and maybe Blake Lively (I don’t know why.. saw her in a Netflix movie a month ago and now I want to have a martini with her and eat fries)

We would go to Wendy’s! Blake would order the Asiago ranch chicken club, small fries and sprite. My bf would order the Baconator combo, large fries, sub the drink for a chocolate frosty. My friend would order a Dave’s single with small fries and a coke. Me, I would order the spicy chicken sandwich, medium fries no drink.. I would try and order a vanilla frosty and they would tell me they were discontinued across Canada. I would cry and throw a temper tantrum.. My bf would have to tell me I’m embarrassing him and tell me to grow up. I would realize I’m a 31 year old crying about a vanilla frosty. I won’t order chocolate cause I think it’s disgusting. My meal would be subpar and I would later drive off a cliff. What?! LOL

10. Think of a word (in English) and create a new, alternate spelling for it. What is the new word you have created?

Declineded- declineded is pronounced: decline-de-did – funny story, I accidentally wrote this in a patients file at work when I meant to write “declined it “..and now everyone uses that word against me. Humiliating

BONUS QUESTIONS

1. On a sheet of paper, draw your happy place. Do not include words or numbers. You have 60 seconds to do this. Share the picture in your blog post.

Note: If the picture looks like you took more than 60 seconds, you will receive a zero.

Double Note: Do NOT tell me what it is. I will ask you when I’m ready.

2. Text someone, “Knock Knock”. What is their reply?

Note: A screenshot isn’t required, but if I think you’re lying about their response, you will receive a zero.

I know it’s not required but here, why not!

Here is an update!

Me texting should be illegal
Look what you started Paul!

3. In your place of residence, pick up a book and turn to Page 50. What is the third sentence on that page and how does it relate to your life?

“Experience consists of perceptions in which the luminous aspect of the phenomenal world is mistaken for absolutely pure awareness.”

Let’s deconstruct this : my current experience is living in a pandemic and my perception is that this is living hell. I am in absolute pure awareness that this current experience is shit..I guess that means this third sentence relates to my life perfectly Haha!

Thank you Paul for making life entertaining! I hope I get brownie points for nothing! 🙂

To Trim Or Not To Trim

Forewarning before you continue reading, this is going to be a TMI personal story I’m about to share with you. For those of you who don’t know what TMI stands for.. TO MUCH INFORMATION!

But this story is too embarrassing for me not to share 🙂 I’m willing to sacrifice my shame and dignity for your entertainment…

Haha! Yeah okay, what dignity?? If you have been a follower or have ever been unfortunate enough to read anything I post, you already know I wasn’t given dignity as a character trait when born.

That being said, I would like to take you to the deepest darkest place known to human.. my thoughts.. got you there didn’t I? You were thinking hell weren’t you! Nah, hells got NOTHING on me.

It all started yesterday when I went to the washroom to pee. I saw the amazon rainforest that rested upon my nether region. I thought to myself ..”damn bitch, did you forget what a razor is or you just that poor to afford one?”

It’s true, it’s been like … err.. 3 months give or take since I’ve taken anything remotely sharp to my bonsai tree .. that’s being too gracious.. bonsai trees are small.

I decided enough is enough! At this point, I am probably harbouring some small Pygmy village in there! .. kidding.. maybe.

I went to work and like any desperate *cough* BUDGETING *cough* female, I did some research. Usually, I’m a waxer.. but I’ve also come across some interesting studies that too much waxing can lead to saggy pussy syndrome. I made it up.. sorry for the profanity. I’m not. I don’t want a downstairs “like sleeve of wizard” as quoted by the famous Boart. Also, let’s be real for a seconds for my female readers.. waxing is essentially theft. Common, am I right or no? You get charged per body part.. umm I’m Italian, give me the Sasquatch special please and thank you. Use the heaviest duty wax out there while you are at it.

Shaving, what is it to shave? You can spend scents, dollars, sometimes more depending on how many layers of skin you want to take off or amount of blood you want to lose. But for an Italian, shaving is a waste of time. I shit you not. I shave, literally 5 mins later, 6 o’clock shadow. UGH

Plus, with shaving comes darker, thicker, more angrier hair! You would need a machete to cut through that crap!

Now trimming… trimming sounds effective and easy. Almost fail proof if you ask me. I watched some youtube videos on which ones are decent and how to use them. I came across this and decided to buy it at shoppers drug mart after work.

Bonus! It was also on sale! Booyah!

Fast forward..I am now home finished showering and have prepared the “work” area for the mess it was about to receive.. RIP bathroom..

I’m going to try and be as graphic as possible..

I placed my left foot on the top of the sink to get the best possible angle, lighting, and view of what I was doing. Everything was going fine. Until I see a stream of blood pouring down the inside of my leg. For a moment, I thought I trimmed my lady lips off. I screamed and my roommate came flying into the bathroom door…no knock or anything.. just swat team entrance.

Let me paint this extremely embarrassing picture for you.. I’m standing there completely NAKED.. one leg still propped up open wide on the sink counter.. blood everywhere! Toilet paper covered in blood everywhere ..I tried to stop the bleeding with toilet paper .. yeah..

He yells “what the hell did you do!?” To which I reply in tears and whimpering like a puppy ” I don’t knowwwww”

He grabs a towel and covers me and runs to get paper towel. By this point I realize that I didn’t massacre my lady bits.. but caused a small flesh wound on my finger that was causing the excessive bleeding..

What I’m assuming happen was the razor on the other end of the trimmer must have cut me.. I didn’t notice until blood was everywhere.. Stupid high end razors and their fancy 5 blade bullshit.. I would of know I got cut if I used a cheap razor.. trust me.

So hey, the poor dude gets back after seeing me completely naked, bleeding to death, spread eagle on the sink.. and now I have to tell him it’s my finger that’s bleeding… just my finger..

His response is to roll his eyes and throw an entire roll of paper towel at me and say “dude, you can’t even maintain yourself like a normal human being”… By the way, we’ve been roommates for just over a year… That just goes to show you how USELESS I AM!

Not my finest moment.. and I don’t really have many.. but this one takes the cake.

The verdict is.. if you can use a butter knife safely, you can probably use a trimmer. But, if you are likely to hurt yourself with a plastic butter knife.. also, not one of my finest moments… stay clear from anything with a blade.

Jenna out!

I’m Back!..With a 30 Day Weight Loss Challenge?

Okay, so…I’ve been MIA for how long now? I’ve lost track of EVERYTHING!

Let me start off by saying I don’t even live in the same Province anymore! I’ve moved thousands of miles out West across Canada. In the past year, I have dealt with a lot of loss. I lost my Grandmother to a hemorrhagic stroke… I lost my boyfriend of 5 years because he decided he was going to cheat on me. I lost one of my best friends just because? I essentially lost myself. I fell into depression, severe anxiety and panic attacks… just a complete wreck.

Over the past few months since January, I have made serious changes to my life. I meditate now and do Yoga? Never did that stuff in my entire LIFE. I went vegan for a while which I’ve done before. But most importantly, I left my entire life back in Toronto, Ontario that I’ve built for 27 years. Why? Because I can and because I direly needed to.

Now, the reason being for this post is because I want to really challenge myself. Sadly, through everything I have gone through.. I have lost serious amounts of willpower, self control and determination. Through writing again, I am hoping it might help me stay focused and on track with my goals. Plus, its always good to voice your shit to people who will judge you blindly 🙂

So, get ready WordPressers! Starting tomorrow June 1st I’m going to fill your newsfeed with bullshit of my shitty workouts and weight loss bird food diets! Kidding.. I wouldn’t eat bird food… But I would eat rabbit food 😉

 

Ps. Jenna is back

But, do you Nominate?

First thing’s first…What award logo? lol

Okay Paul, you win. I will accept one of your nominations lol. Although, I don’t really know what I’m doing since I’ve never done one of these things before… Actually, I avoid these things like the plague.

With that being said, I’ve been nominated for the … for the… Hey Paul! Is it the “Real Neat Blog award”? So confused lol.

Okay, lets take a shot at this, it feels right. I’ve been nominated for the Real Neat Blog award by Paul Captains Speech, one of my more loyal followers who oddly thinks I’m funny! But, it works because his blog actually makes me laugh! So I appreciate you! We have a mutual ego boosting blogging friendship! Oh, and thank you for nominating me!

Because we have such a mutually good understanding, he knows I just copied and pasted the rules right from his blog. No need for copyright 🙂

Here are the rules for this award:

Put the Award Logo on your blog
Answer seven questions by the person who nominated you
Thank the person who nominated you, linking to their blog
Nominate any number of blogs for the award, linking to their blog
Let them know that you nominated them for the award

I am guessing this is where I answer your seven questions 🙂

1. What was the first job you ever had?

Hmm, first job I ever had was working in a banquet hall as coat check. I then ended up taking on many other jobs within that same banquet hall later on.

2. Which do you prefer: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

I actually prefer breakfast. My logic is that since it is the first meal of the day and, you have all the time in the world to burn it off, you can eat whatever the heck it is you want!

3. If you had $100 in your pocket, what would you spend it on?

Video games on steam that I have sitting in my wishlist lol

4. Fries or onion rings?

Both? You know in some places you can get half and half… But if you must only pick one… I’m going with fries.

5. What was your favourite movie as a child?

Once upon a forest. I watched that movie so many times I broke it. Or it self destructed in the VCR.

6. How fast can you say the alphabet backwards?

I just tried and failed miserably… also, bit my tongue. 😦

7. When was the last time you flew a kite?

What if I told you, I’ve never flown a kite! What IF I told you instead, I flew tissue box…. I’m not kidding. It’s pathetic isn’t it.

Alrighty then! This is where I nominate specially and carefully hand picked people.

Navigator– One of my favourite bloggers I have had the luxury of coming across from the start. He hasn’t blogged in a while so, I’m hoping this sparks something 🙂

Food 4 Your Mood– A recent follower that I followed back. She was in tune with my 14 day smoothie detox and I would like to get to know a few things about her!

Silence Says It All– Same as the above blogger. On one of my 14 day smoothie blogs, he said he was going away to Cuba with his daughter who apparently sounds alot like me! So I’m curious now!

Project Light To Life– She is a bucket list blogger who I’ve really enjoyed reading her posts from the day I started my blog. She is extremely inspirational and knows how to live!

Now, time for my seven questions :

1. What is your favourite genre of music?

2. Do you have a place you go to escape/unwind?

3. Did/do you play any musical instruments?

4. Do you prefer to write in black or blue ink?

5. What was your favourite childhood board/video game?

6. Disco balls or lava lamps?

7. Left or Right handed?