Noticeable Trend

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I have my G exam tomorrow. Do you know how scary it is to take any of your driving tests in Toronto? It is soooo scary that everyone I know, does it out of the city, mainly up north. Not me. I did my G2 here, and now it’s time for my G. Only thing is…. I CAN’T PARALLEL PARK OR REVERSE PARK TO SAVE MY LIFE! Why?!? Because I never used these things! I don’t drive downtown and I always make sure I have a pull through parking spot! If I don’t at first, I drive around in circles till my ass finds one! Basically, I doomed tomorrow. *sigh* I don’t suppose staying up all night will help me pass right?

Crap!

Just For Fun

100THINGS

 

Yes, you read right! I’m bored and thought this would be something fun to do to pass time.

Well here it goes…100 things.

1) I obviously have nothing better to do since I’m doing this.

2) I love reading and writing.

3) I really enjoy drawing and being creative/artistic.

4) I also love music and anything to do with it. Playing, listening, etc.

5) I am really good with my hands.

6) Numbers 3 and 4 are examples of 5.

7) I massage people for a living. Professionally.. I’m Registered. (also refers to number 5)

8) I’m really afraid of public speaking.

9) I am horrible with communicating my feelings.

10) I hate crying. Although, I do it often.

11) I hate vomiting even more. I tend to cry after I vomit…It’s pathetic really.

12) I resent both of my parents.

13) 7 is my favourite number or anything with 7 in it.

14) I use to sing in the choir until my grade 2 teacher told me I sing like a dog.

15) My favourite colour is currently bright-lime green.

16) It use to be black. Moving up in life.

17) I’ve successfully completed ALL my laundry for the week.

18) Apparently I’m considered over emotional..

19) I like to call it being sensitive.

20) I can taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke.

21) I love video games. Pc, PlayStation, Nintendo, you name it, I’ve most likely played it.

22) I am 75% Italian, 20% German, and 5% Polish.

23) I have over 5 calendars and agendas/schedulers but never use them.

24) I have four pets currently. Two dogs and two cats.

25) One of the dogs actually belongs to me. I bought him for $800 .

26) So he’s legally mine

27) I named him Nocello.

28) I have a sister and 3 half sisters.

29) I use to have a rabbit named Pepper and a Parrot named Pete when I was younger.

30) I really need to pee.

31) I am Catholic.

32) I worked from the age of 11 at a banquet hall.

33) I had to pay for my own education if I ever wanted to amount to something.

34) If I get jealous, it’s for an actual reason.

35) I painted my toe nails bright-highlighter-Yellow cause I can.

36) I have a a bleeding heart.

37) I love helping people.

38) Number 37 conflicts with number 36.

39) I am petrified of sharks.

40) My greatest fear actually is a plane crashing into the ocean and still being alive, but then a shark eats me.

41) I realize how stupid number 40 sounds so, shut up.

42) I always have to sleep with a pillow either between or under my legs.

43) I love roller-coasters and extreme rides.

44) I will try anything at-least once!

45) But if it doesn’t please all senses, I’ll never eat it again.

46) Most people probably stopped reading this at number 4.

47) I dropped French class after grade 9.

48) I regret high school and wish I could do it over again.

49) I love to play music REALLY LOUD!

50) I actually screamed that in my head as I typed it. Thought you should know.

51) I love older music. Anything from the 50’s to late 90’s.

52) I hate my body ratio.

53) Let me rephrase that. It’s ass to love handle ratio.

54) I cannot stand romantic movies and chick flicks.

55) I only saw American Pie 1 for the first time 2 weeks ago.

56) I took up blogging a few years ago because, I think writing in a diary is lame.

57) I own and use 2 diary’s fairly often.

58) I like feedback from people that actually read the shit I write.

59) I enjoy reading other peoples blogs.

60) I’m still deciding on what to do with my life.

61) I just finished my first Real Estate course exam on Saturday.

62) I think I failed, but wont know till midweek or later.

63) I’m super impatient when it comes to waiting for grades or test results.

64) I fear failing at anything at all times.

65) I’m afraid of ending up alone.

66) I’m considered photogenic.

67) It takes me one minute and 3 seconds to do my hair.

68) I can stay up all night just laughing and telling jokes.

69) Sometimes my laugh can disturb the peace of the public.

70) I’ve been told I sound like Bart Simpson when I laugh.

71) Thank God Bart Simpson’s voice is done by a female.

72) I own EVERY season of Family Guy.

73) I can imitate Lois Griffin’s voice.

74) I love sunflowers.

75) And sunflower seeds.

76) I don’t care if people like me or not.

77) Unless they are people that have to be around me all the time.

78) I still need to pee.

79) I chew way too much gum.

80) I have gum packs everywhere.

81) My sister is 2 years younger.

82) She use to steal all my clothes and personal belongings.

83) This is why I purposely put a lock on my bedroom door.

84) I just put a piece of gum in my mouth.

85) Nom, Nom, Nom.

86) It’s spearmint. Yum.

87) My only bad habit was biting my nails but, I stopped 2 years ago.

88) First time I shaved my downstairs was in grade 7.

89) I felt bald.

90) the only reason I did it was because my best-friend told me too.

91) Math was never my forte.

92) I love spicy food.

93) Cinnamon is my favourite spice.

94) I should really go pee before I get another bladder infection or it explodes.

95) I have a horrible sweet-tooth.

96) I sometimes skip out on food, but devour dessert.

97) Especially Chocolate.

98) I carry around my Iphone and Ipod Touch.

99) I’m certain no one is reading this. (Maybe Paul =D)

100) 100! Okay I’m done. Bathroom time!

 

 

 

 

 

International Woman’s Day

Did you know what today was?
Neither did I.

It was actually brought to my attention by a coworker who wanted to share with me what today should be about.

Apparently, woman today are NOT supposed to work. Funny, I’m sitting at work right now as I write this post. Woman are NOT supposed to cook. Woman are SUPPOSED to be appreciated….. Isn’t this supposed to be everyday? The appreciation part. Woman belong in the kitchen and I don’t believe in woman just sitting on their asses. ANYWHO the point of this post is, she has told me she asked her boyfriend purposely what today was.
His reply was “….is it our anniversary?”…No…..”… Is it the anniversary of the day you came to Canada?…”… No.

Why do men automatically think it’s an anniversary day?!

To test this theory, I tired it myself.

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See? Never fails.

But any-who! To all females everywhere, happy international woman’s day!

Romantic

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Are you a romantic?
Hell, I know I’m not. But, I do have a part of me that would like to embrace that mushy side. Somewhere deep, deep, down. I guess it’s whatever you consider romantic right?

I was scolded today by one of my girlfriends on how I’m not “romantic” enough. What the freaking hell does that even mean?!? Not romantic enough? Pfft. What list or guide is there that specifies there being enough romantic or not? I’m plenty romantic!

So I don’t like flowers or love letters, or poetry, or fancy candle light dinners. Does that make me anti romantic? Is that even a word? Did I just make that up!? You know what I like? I like wine, and music. You know what’s romantic to me? Listening to 70s or 80s music and drinking wine. Maybe even a random slow dance to set the mood. No, I’m not a jamming alcoholic, but those two do go well together.

Like come on. I know some people like all that jazzed up crap but, don’t you think that’s a little planned and unnatural? Coming home to a candle light dinner is code for, “I’m gunna hump you tonight because I have grounds too.” Before you go off on the whole “it’s a sign of appreciating” bullshit, tell me there’s no intention or motive there at all! Spur of the moment is romantic! Songza can set the mood in moments if you choose the right playlist, and I don’t mean the category “getting lucky”.

This is rambling bullshit. Moral of the story is, I’m a realist! Romance my ass!
πŸ™‚

Math

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Definition of Math: The study of the measurement, properties, and relationships of quantities and sets, using numbers and symbols.

My Definition of math: migraine, headache, anxiety, nightmares.

I HATE math. I actually stopped at BEDMAS in High school!

So guess what I’ve been doing lately that’s had me so tied up? Well, I believe I mentioned a few posts ago that I was “trying” something new. So I’ve been studying Real Estate. Yep, I hate math, but, enrolled in Real Estate. How the hell does that make any sense!?!

90% of the first course is purely based on MATH! It’s literally been 3 days of MATH! I come home, do more math homework. Rinse and repeat. It is soooo bad that I have nightmares based on my financial calculator.

To make matters worse, I seem to be one out of the only two people to be completely LOST! I literally put my hand up today in class and asked the instructor ” is this first course created to filter out the individuals who are mentally incapable of processing basic math skills and functions?” She laughed and honestly replied with “yes”.

OKAY then..*sigh* On a positive note, I’m understanding alot more then I thought I initially would. Maybe this isn’t a complete waste of time. I am starting to feel more the property management side versus the sales person. Obviously in terms of income, property manager is less. But at least it won’t be AS stressful right?… Right. *sigh* what the hell am I doing with my life!

On another positive note, I can now convert cubic feet to cubic yards and I now know how to add dormer windows to find the area of a two story house. Yay me!! πŸ˜€ … Why can’t math be easy like science! I get science! I don’t get math! Failure!

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Second Year Anniversary

Me and Matt Randoms

Happy second year Anniversary to my boyfriend Matthew!

Two years already and you haven’t killed me? You deserve a cookie! Your still alive too so, consider yourself lucky.

I love you even though you piss me the fuck off 99.7% of the time. Okay, I’m no cake-walk myself. Kudos to the both of us for making it another year!

Love your ever so frustrating, annoying, obnoxious, complicated?, “can’t believe I haven’t strangled her yet”, girlfriend

– Jennifer

Practice Preview Prt2

YAY! It’s somewhat coming along :/…. Somewhat… I still can’t add vocals yet cause a) I’m still sick, b) I want to get the instrument down first. One step at a time.

But it is SLOWLY becoming… something!

Did anyone else leave their house this morning and end up on their ass? I went figure-skating on my ass down the driveway to get to my car. Thanks mother nature.

πŸ™‚

Perfect Girl

Look, we all need to take the time to remind ourselves of our worth sometimes. Once in a while it’s good to take a step back and just fucking inflate your ego a bit. So screw what you think, this is me time. Why not do this on a piece of paper in your bedroom or in your diary like a good little girl. No! Lick my nuts! I’m doing it here on the net so everyone can see how freaking special I am…NOT

Let me start off by saying, there is no such thing as perfect. EVER. NO ONE IS PERFECT. You are only perfect in your own way.

If you are reading this, it is possible you are thinking of one or more of the following things;

a) She is clearly pissed off about something.

b) What, your boyfriend is being a dick again?

c) Oh, it’s “I hate my life” time and your posting this to make yourself feel better

d) She’s clearly not getting any and is sexually frustrated.

e) Typical; fucking female post

f) Why are there so many fucking options!?! FUCK

You know what! I actually think I am a perfect catch, so you can kiss my ass! Here is why.

Reason number 1

I am hard working. Yes, very hard working. I put my blood, sweat, and spit into EVERYTHING and ANYTHING that I do. (Sometimes tears….always tears..shut up)

Reason number 2

I am domesticated! I cook, clean, know how to scrub a toilet, (that’s a life skill by the way). I do all that housewife shit without being a stupid housewife. Also handy with tools and other shit that males use. Try finding that in 50% of women these days. That’s right! You can’t! Oh NO! I broke a nail..Shove it princess.

Reason number 3

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I’m not repulsed by your abused bodily functions. You farting or burping will not send me running away with arms flailing. Although I may not pass gas around you (too lady like for that) I defiantly might make you look like a little bitch in a belching contest. To some, that’s disgusting, others; that’s hot.

Reason number 4

I am dedicated and passionate about what I’m in/who I’m with/what I’m doing. That doesn’t really need explaining. You get the point. Too much to type anyway’s πŸ˜›

Reason number 5

I am NOT your “typical” girl. Here is why

-Usually considered one of the guys for the most part.

-I am not materialistic AT all. I HATE jewellery. Unless it’s seashells on string or some nature shit. You can keep that $59875874324.45 dollar purse made from alligator dick, I’m good thanks. No, I’m not a hippy.

– I would rather eat in a hole in the wall dive compared to a fancy restaurant

– I probably talk less then you. I actually don’t talk THAT much. Surprise Surprise πŸ˜‰ But I can hold a conversation that’s meaningful and loaded. No drama. Never Drama. Oh My GAWD! Guess what SUSY said TODAY!!!…Die

– Chick flick or explosions? EXPLOSIONS !

– Barbies? Nahhh, hot-wheels!

– Wtf is reality Tv? Soaps still exist?

– I HATE dressing up. I like my sweats and jeans, runners and boots. What the fuck is a dress? An expensive piece of material that you can’t do anything in but look pretty and wave. God forbid you sit the wrong way and your vagina shows. How am I supposed to scream “Race ya!” In 9 inch heals that could possibly strike oil?! Although, on special occasions, I do clean up very well and know how to dress like a lady, not a slut. Sorry if I offended any one. Actually, no I’m not.

– I hate shopping. Can’t stand malls. When I do shop, its like a game show. How fast can you get in and get the FUCK out!

– I play/watch sports. You dig?

– ^ No I’m not a ghetto fabulous retard.

– I hate mushy nicknames, relationship babble, all that horse shit nonsense. VOMIT. I love you is fine. Cut the crap. I’m not your hunny bunches of oats, or your snookums, your princess fucking peach, whatever other shit is out there. I’m fine with penis wrinkle or dickweed, or fuck tart. I think it’s cute. Don’t judge me

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Reason number 6

I don’t wear make-up. Ever. Seriously. EVER. Even if I have the largest, juiciest, most obnoxious ZIT on my face. There will be no make-up used to cover it. It will look you in the face until it explodes or finally goes away. Deal with it. My face is my face. It is all natural. Whether you like it or you don’t, I could give 2 shits. Would you fancy some cake?

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Reason number 7

I take care of myself. Lets face it, you already know I have issues with my weight. I’m CONSTANTLY calling myself fat, larger then life, house sized, I am the real Moby-Dick. I’ve said it all. But the truth is, I watch what I eat and exercise daily. I am not and will never be a lard ass who sits on my ass and absorbs the couch watching soaps. Even the day I have kids, I know that I will be one of those freaks that NEED to get their body back. See? Winner πŸ™‚

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Reason number 8

I play fucking video games! Yes, I am a gamer. I’ve owned almost every gaming console ever made. (expect for X-box BARF) and no, I don’t play Barbies animal rescue or Mary- Kate and Ashley’s’s golf ..*Scoff*

Reason number 9

I am and will be your number one fan/ believer! No matter what crazy idea or dreams you have, if I see how bad you want something and are willing to work towards it, I will stand behind you 110%, even if the odds are zero and unrealistic.

Reason number 10

I am independent. Seriously, what is worse then having a girlfriend or partner that needs to be attached to you at the hip 24/7? Example, I can do my own thing while you do yours. Even if we are in the same room together, we don’t have to BE together. Just you being there is enough. No need for suffocation.

Reason number 11

Family oriented. Lets face it shall we. There are way too many horror stories of the controlling wife/in-laws. For the most part, females like to start their own family and like to call the shots. I’ve seen this WAY too much. It sickens me. Families being torn apart and for what? I like being integrated and have no problems with family men and a “mamas boy”. Yes, I am the girl you want to bring home to your parents, trust me.

Reason number 12

I can count how many sex partners I have on one hand! Can you? Sex is not a joke. Just because your dating them, doesn’t mean you have to spread them.

Last but not least,

Reason number 13

Marriage to me is NOT a joke. I would not make that jump unless 100% ready. Divorce rates are WAY too high for my liking and no, I will not take you for half. That’s the perk about me. Equality and fairness. You bring half, you take your half. We buy a car, shit hits the fan, we sell the car and split the amount. FAIR. “I would like to plead emotional abuse” -Here , you get EVERYTHING. We get away with way too much because we have a baby making box bundle. This, sickens me.

There is way too much honestly to list, but these are the first things that come to mind when I think of the positives of why dating me isn’t compared to hell.Maybe I’m being full of myself, who the hell knows. Maybe everything I listed is a big fat “HELL NO” to some men or women out there. Who knows and who the cares! Kiss my semi-fat derriΓ¨re.

Okay I’m done. I feel better about myself now.

This is a pretty annoying pompous post though I must say. Especially for my first 2014 post. Ah well. SUCK IT

With love;

Jenna

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Goodbye Ice World

I am writing this blog as my last words. For tonight, I may freeze to death in my sleep. I live in Toronto folks, the pretty city covered in ice, and no FUCKING POWER!!!! I’M GOING TO TURN INTO A FUCKING POPSICLE! I’M SICKER THEN A DOG! MY SNOT IS FROZEN,
PREVENTING ME FROM BREATHING!
THIS IS THE MOST SLOW AND PAINFUL WAY TO DIE! ICEAGE ALL OVER AGAIN! THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW! FUCK YOU ROB FORD! CALL A STATE OF EMERGENCY ALREADY! OR BEFORE I DIE, I WILL FIND YOU AND KILL YOU! AHHHHHH

Now I’m crying because I think the piece of tissue I stuck in my left nostril to breath, is stuck in there for good :'(!

I want my heating back! πŸ˜₯
I don’t want too die!
How the fuck did the Amish people fucking live like this! Did I even spell Amish right? Fuck it! I don’t care anymore!

I think I got Vicks in my eye! πŸ˜₯ I can’t see!

Snot icicles everywhere!

Emergency! Emergency!

-^-^^_^_^-_________(flatlines)