To Trim Or Not To Trim

Forewarning before you continue reading, this is going to be a TMI personal story I’m about to share with you. For those of you who don’t know what TMI stands for.. TO MUCH INFORMATION!

But this story is too embarrassing for me not to share 🙂 I’m willing to sacrifice my shame and dignity for your entertainment…

Haha! Yeah okay, what dignity?? If you have been a follower or have ever been unfortunate enough to read anything I post, you already know I wasn’t given dignity as a character trait when born.

That being said, I would like to take you to the deepest darkest place known to human.. my thoughts.. got you there didn’t I? You were thinking hell weren’t you! Nah, hells got NOTHING on me.

It all started yesterday when I went to the washroom to pee. I saw the amazon rainforest that rested upon my nether region. I thought to myself ..”damn bitch, did you forget what a razor is or you just that poor to afford one?”

It’s true, it’s been like … err.. 3 months give or take since I’ve taken anything remotely sharp to my bonsai tree .. that’s being too gracious.. bonsai trees are small.

I decided enough is enough! At this point, I am probably harbouring some small Pygmy village in there! .. kidding.. maybe.

I went to work and like any desperate *cough* BUDGETING *cough* female, I did some research. Usually, I’m a waxer.. but I’ve also come across some interesting studies that too much waxing can lead to saggy pussy syndrome. I made it up.. sorry for the profanity. I’m not. I don’t want a downstairs “like sleeve of wizard” as quoted by the famous Boart. Also, let’s be real for a seconds for my female readers.. waxing is essentially theft. Common, am I right or no? You get charged per body part.. umm I’m Italian, give me the Sasquatch special please and thank you. Use the heaviest duty wax out there while you are at it.

Shaving, what is it to shave? You can spend scents, dollars, sometimes more depending on how many layers of skin you want to take off or amount of blood you want to lose. But for an Italian, shaving is a waste of time. I shit you not. I shave, literally 5 mins later, 6 o’clock shadow. UGH

Plus, with shaving comes darker, thicker, more angrier hair! You would need a machete to cut through that crap!

Now trimming… trimming sounds effective and easy. Almost fail proof if you ask me. I watched some youtube videos on which ones are decent and how to use them. I came across this and decided to buy it at shoppers drug mart after work.

Bonus! It was also on sale! Booyah!

Fast forward..I am now home finished showering and have prepared the “work” area for the mess it was about to receive.. RIP bathroom..

I’m going to try and be as graphic as possible..

I placed my left foot on the top of the sink to get the best possible angle, lighting, and view of what I was doing. Everything was going fine. Until I see a stream of blood pouring down the inside of my leg. For a moment, I thought I trimmed my lady lips off. I screamed and my roommate came flying into the bathroom door…no knock or anything.. just swat team entrance.

Let me paint this extremely embarrassing picture for you.. I’m standing there completely NAKED.. one leg still propped up open wide on the sink counter.. blood everywhere! Toilet paper covered in blood everywhere ..I tried to stop the bleeding with toilet paper .. yeah..

He yells “what the hell did you do!?” To which I reply in tears and whimpering like a puppy ” I don’t knowwwww”

He grabs a towel and covers me and runs to get paper towel. By this point I realize that I didn’t massacre my lady bits.. but caused a small flesh wound on my finger that was causing the excessive bleeding..

What I’m assuming happen was the razor on the other end of the trimmer must have cut me.. I didn’t notice until blood was everywhere.. Stupid high end razors and their fancy 5 blade bullshit.. I would of know I got cut if I used a cheap razor.. trust me.

So hey, the poor dude gets back after seeing me completely naked, bleeding to death, spread eagle on the sink.. and now I have to tell him it’s my finger that’s bleeding… just my finger..

His response is to roll his eyes and throw an entire roll of paper towel at me and say “dude, you can’t even maintain yourself like a normal human being”… By the way, we’ve been roommates for just over a year… That just goes to show you how USELESS I AM!

Not my finest moment.. and I don’t really have many.. but this one takes the cake.

The verdict is.. if you can use a butter knife safely, you can probably use a trimmer. But, if you are likely to hurt yourself with a plastic butter knife.. also, not one of my finest moments… stay clear from anything with a blade.

Jenna out!

I’m Back!..With a 30 Day Weight Loss Challenge?

Okay, so…I’ve been MIA for how long now? I’ve lost track of EVERYTHING!

Let me start off by saying I don’t even live in the same Province anymore! I’ve moved thousands of miles out West across Canada. In the past year, I have dealt with a lot of loss. I lost my Grandmother to a hemorrhagic stroke… I lost my boyfriend of 5 years because he decided he was going to cheat on me. I lost one of my best friends just because? I essentially lost myself. I fell into depression, severe anxiety and panic attacks… just a complete wreck.

Over the past few months since January, I have made serious changes to my life. I meditate now and do Yoga? Never did that stuff in my entire LIFE. I went vegan for a while which I’ve done before. But most importantly, I left my entire life back in Toronto, Ontario that I’ve built for 27 years. Why? Because I can and because I direly needed to.

Now, the reason being for this post is because I want to really challenge myself. Sadly, through everything I have gone through.. I have lost serious amounts of willpower, self control and determination. Through writing again, I am hoping it might help me stay focused and on track with my goals. Plus, its always good to voice your shit to people who will judge you blindly 🙂

So, get ready WordPressers! Starting tomorrow June 1st I’m going to fill your newsfeed with bullshit of my shitty workouts and weight loss bird food diets! Kidding.. I wouldn’t eat bird food… But I would eat rabbit food 😉

 

Ps. Jenna is back

14 Day Smoothie Detox- Day 14 (Last Day) & Review

  

Berry Good smoothie (Breakfast/lunch)

  • 2 cups of strawberries
  • 1 cup of rice milk
  • 1 cup blueberries and raspberries
  • 1/2 cup probiotic yogurt
  • Scoop of protien powder 
  • 1 Tbs of hemp seeds

Verdict – very berry indeed . It kept me full all day which was good. An okay last day breakfast smoothie.

  

Liver cleanser smoothie (Dinner)

  • 1/4 cup of parsley
  • 2 handfuls of kale
  • 1/2 cucumber
  • 1 small beet
  • 1 apple
  • 1 lemon
  • 1 chunk of ginger 
  • 1/3 cup water 

Verdict – do you know what after vomit tastes like? You know, the after taste AFTER you vomit. That is the EXACT comparison of this smoothie. It was THE most disgusting thing I’ve had to date. This was the worst way to end off a 14 day smoothie detox. If you are reading this… DONT DO IT!

With that being said, here’s my review on the 14 day smoothie detox.

14 Day Detox Review 

I feel amazing. Energetically aligned! I’ve lost weight. I went from being 126-127 to 122 lbs. But of course, not where I wanted to lose it..I was feeling myself up in bed last night and noticed I lost a percentage of my boobies. I could feel my ribs through the sides of them. Best comparison, starving cows on the roads of India. BOOM! Also noticed I broke out in red bumps on my body, this is from the detoxing. 

Still, I have no bloating at all, I have been consistent and regular with my bowel movements which is a perk from being constipated almost on a weekly basis. I never feel heavy and also sleep a lot better! 

I will contuine to have the smoothies for beakfast since this is a perfect way to start off the day and get all your vitamins and minerals. Not only that, but with summer coming around, it’s a cool and refreshing way not to feel full and heavy in the mornings! Maybe the odd dinner here and there when I don’t feel like cooking. But I loved this and am actually sad it’s over. I will probably do a week detox here and there since it really helped me a lot. I’ve also committed to having a very little to even none gluten free diet. Let’s see how long this lasts…. I do love my beer…and cannolis, and cookies…. Ugh!! 

I haven’t actually made/created my OWN smoothie recipes. I’ve gotten them all from the internet. Mainly from a site/app called yummly.com. Other recipes from this youtuber named The Domestic Geek, and this other site called Healthy food home – Fat burning smoothies that actually work. I linked all the sites and youtube links. So enjoy. 

Also, a big thank you to all the people who have helped and encouraged me through this detox. To my new and old followers who have stayed tune, and to the people in my life currently who rooted me on! 

I love you all and thank you so very much! XoX

Jenna OUT ….for a hamburger 😉 kidding. 

14 Day Smoothie Detox- Day 13

  

Peach and white bean (Breakfast)

  • 1/2 Cup rice milk
  • 1/4 Cup probiotic yogurt 
  • 1 Cup frozen peaches 
  • 1/4 canned white beans
  • 1/4 Tsp cinnamon 

Verdict = I was sketchy about this one. Especially with the beans! Turns out the peaches just mask the entirety of the bean flavour and give it a perfect texture! The cinnamon helps too! I had found this one under fat burning smoothies that actually work! I really liked this smoothie and since I have a can of beans open now, will probably be making it again.

  

Berry Chocolate Beet smoothie (Dinner)

  • 1 Beet root
  • 1 Banana
  • 1 Cup of chocolate almond milk
  • 1/2 Cup mixed berries
  • 1 scoop chocolate whey protien powder
  • 2 Tbs almond butter (I used 1 Tbs of light peanut butter instead)

Verdict= UUUUUUUGHGGHHHHHH! Sooooooo goooooooodddddddd! Kept me alive during my 8 hour shift at work today!  Kinda upset that I’m on my second last day.. And I thought I wouldn’t make it for 14 days… I could go on forever!! 

14 Day Smoothie Detox- Day 12

  

Grapefruit and Mango Smoothie (Breakfast/lunch)

  • 1 Grapefruit
  • 1 Banana
  • 1 Cup frozen mango 
  • 1/2 Cup unsweetened Almond milk
  • 1 Tbs chia seeds

Verdict= super yummy, super filling! Super sour! Loved it! Brought it with me today on a super busy day and stayed full! 

  

Detox smoothie (Dinner)

  • 1/2 cup antioxidant juice
  • 1/2 cup spinach 
  • 1/2 banana 
  • 1/2 cup frozen missed berries
  • 1/2 Tbs flax seed powder
  • 1/2 Tbs super green powder 
  • 1/4 Tsp organic red maca powder

Verdict = super yummy! I will be repeating this one again. Also, realization, I’ve been drinking about two servings per every smoothie I’ve made. This one was only one serving and wtf is that ^^ didn’t even make it to the top of the jar! Well, guess I’m a two serving type of gal. No wonder I wasn’t starving… Jesus! 

14 Day Smoothie Detox- Day 11 & Happy Easter!

HAPPY EASTER SUNDAY WORDPRESS! XOX 

Chocolatey avocado smoothie (Breakfast/Lunch)

  • 1 Cup frozen strawberries
  • 1 ripe avocado
  • 1 1/2 Cups Almond milk (I did 1 cup regular almond milk 1/2 cup chocolate almond milk)
  • 1 Tbs chocolate whey powder
  • 1 Tbs chia seeds 

Verdict= this was extremely thick and rich and yummy! Probably not the healthiest but hey, I gotta have something on Easter Sunday. I turned down fresh apple strudel yesterday! APPLE FREAKING STRUDEL! Held me all the way till 4 pm, I’m getting really good at this. Sad it’s almost over.

  

Beet and orange smoothie (Dinner)

  • 1 beet 
  • 1 cup of Orange juice
  • 1 Tangerine 
  • 1/2 Banana 
  • 1 Apple 
  • Handful of mixed berries 
  • Handful of kale 

Verdict= Tart. very tart. Not killer sweet like last time I made a beet smoothie. The one that I had no choice but to pour down the drain. Finished all of this one though 🙂

 

14 Day Smoothie Detox- Day 10

  

Immune boosting smoothie (Breakfast/Lunch)

  • 1 Cup of Orange juice
  • 1 cup of mangoes
  • 1 tangerine 
  • 1 banana 
  • 1 Tbs grated ginger root
  • 1 Tsp cinnamon 
  • 1/4 Tsp maca powder 
  • 1 Tbs chia seeds

Verdict= omfg sooooo good!!!! Almost like dessert for breakfast!

No smoothie for dinner. I ate salad and dark leafy greens like Swiss chard. (Probably all the stuff I would of put in my smoothie for dinner anyways)