I Just Want To Breath… Clean Air

Hello All,

I am writing to you from Edmonton Alberta.. If you are someone who is not up to date with the news, we have forest fires yet again and it is not even summer yet. In Northern Alberta, High Level and many surrounding cities are being evacuated due to progressive forest fires that are spreading. It’s sad to say that only 2 weeks ago, we still had snow. The province couldn’t handle plus 20 weather without bursting into flames… People, global warming is a serious thing! I have been here in Alberta now for the past 3 summers (2016 – 2019) and each one, we’ve suffered from forest fires. Even though I am in Edmonton which is at low risk of having a forest fire obviously, we suffer here with the smoke that blows in. Yesterday I had a meltdown… how important is it you to be able to breath fresh air? To be outdoors? To go on walks, hikes, or runs? Perhaps drive your car to work or take the bus without gagging and suffocating! Heck! I went to a grocery store after work yesterday and it was covered in smoke inside! There was a giant haze from one end to the other! As someone who lives in Canada, we get very little sun and outdoor time as it is. The winters here are long and although they are longer in Alberta…we still have 6-8 months of winter if not more. The idea of being trapped indoors all year round gives me anxiety and depression. The idea of not being able to be outside because the air quality is plus 10.. is terrifying. I had to sleep with a mask on last night because the smoke was still getting into the house even with all the windows shut, and air conditioning on. How scary is that? Even in your own home, your lungs and heart are not safe. Myself and thousands of others have been coughing and wheezing due to poor air quality. I am considered healthy, imagine the people who have respiratory conditions…babies with under developed lungs.. seniors.. How do they feel?..*shivers*

Alberta is a dryer province for sure. All year round it is super dry.. I don’t think humidity exists here in Alberta to be honest. People complain in Ontario about it being TOO humid.. I was never one of them. While Toronto has a lot of smog… you can still breath. Yes, Alberta has more snow then most provinces, but due to global warming, the snow melts at rapid speeds and cannot penetrate the ground fast enough to give it moisture. It is so dry here that the snow that falls turns to ice pretty quick. Temperatures rise fast causing a massive melt then it freezes over again. Winter is long but there isn’t enough snow.. This is not something that is going to just stay in Alberta, this is not something that will change on it’s own… WE need to make a serious change people.. this is our lives at stake here.. our children’s lives…this is our planet and we only have one.. we need to treat it with respect. It’s screaming for help right now and we are choosing to cover our eyes and ears..

I had a mother yesterday cry to me. She told me she woke up yesterday morning crying to her not even 2 year old daughter… “I am so sorry. I am so sorry I can’t give you a better life, this is not what I wanted for you”…Does this not break your heart? It breaks mine. I don’t have children… and this is one of the many reasons why. How can you bring an innocent life into this? We can barely survive! If we don’t make some serious changes, there will be no life. We need to start with being less wasteful. While recycling is good, it is not enough. We need to eliminate plastic all together. We need to invest in eco friendly vehicles. We NEED to stop littering! We need to make changes.. even if they are small.. every change counts! If we vote, we need to vote for the Green Party! Hello people! Wake up please! I know most of us live in places were we don’t suffer from forest fires or other natural disasters, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen eventually! This is not a localized problem! Our air circulates! Our forest fire smoke has traveled as far as Ontario before and it will keep going East, North, South, West, over the fucking oceans! Hello! These are carcinogenics we are breathing in people!

There are so many little things we can do individually to start helping out!

*Carpool, take the bus, ride your bike, walk if its feasible. Or invest in EcoCar if the above are not an option.

*WASTE LESS!!!! HELLO! Start re-purposing glass jars, bottles, containers etc or purchase fancy ones if you are too good for a jar your jam use to be in… jeez..Stainless steel bottles, jars, straws, etc.. Just stop wasting paper and plastic for the love of Moses! There so many eco friendly options out there that it is ridiculous how we still choose to waste! Even things you didn’t think were possible like plastic wrap/saran wrap.. there is a solution to that too now! It’s called Bees wrap, but there are other names for it depending where you are located.

*Stop wasting electricity and water! Are you someone who stands in the shower for 45 mins doing nothing but staring at the wall thinking about what you are going to make for lunch? TURN OFF THE FUCKING WATER YOU ASSHOLE! HOW ABOUT YOU START THINKING ABOUT ALL THE DAMAGE YOU ARE CAUSING WITH YOUR WASTEFUL WAYS! Oh, you like to have your TV on all night long cause you need it to sleep? There are TV settings where you can set a time for your TV to shut off. If you are still awake at that point, maybe it is the TV causing you to be awake so find another solution! Are you someone who likes to have lights on all day long even when you are not at home? Can you explain to me what the fuck you need your bathroom light on 24/7 even when you aren’t at home? If you can give me one good reason as to why, I’ll shut my mouth.

*Consider solar panels for generating electricity… We can still do this while we have sun.. but the more pollution and forest fires we have blocking the fucking sun rays, the less this becomes doable!

There are SO many ways to help combat this problem. If we all work together in doing our part, slowly but surely, we will see a change for better future. Really, all we need to live is clean air, clean water, clean food…clothes are optional. If we don’t do something, we won’t find an inch on this planet with any of those.

I want to see this..

Image result for high level alberta canada

High Level Alberta July 2015

 

not this..

Image result for forest fire alberta 2019

Real photo of High Level Alberta 4 days ago

Image result for forest fire alberta 2019

High Level Alberta

Image result for forest fire alberta 2019

Smoke coverage of Alberta and surrounding Provinces

A Trip for a Mission

20140608-221639-80199299.jpg
I haven’t posted for quite a while. I literally have been a chicken without a head for the past two months.

So what’s the deal? I’m going away for a month to Europe. Right? Shouldn’t I be ecstatic? …Maybe if I was considered “normal people.”

To be completely honest, I have been DREADING the whole thing! I leave Monday! My flight is at 9 pm! and I have absolutely no FREAKING idea what I’m doing. The plane tickets and accommodations have been booked for over a month now if not more. Pretty sure I have changed my mind weekly if not daily on if I’m going or not. For the past week since Monday, it has actually progressed to an hourly debate. Just in this past hour before I started writing this post I have broke down and said I’m not going 5 times. My mom is convinced I have completely lost it, and you know what, maybe I have.

Confused yet? Let me clarify. Matt about 5 months ago was preparing to take oversea courses in Europe to in hopes one day become a professional soccer coach. Great right? Life goal, a dream of his since he was a teenager. Lets make a trip out of it. First stop, England. This is where he will be doing his licensing coaching course. For this portion of the trip I will be alone 90% of the time. Which is fine, really. The other portion of the trip will be travelling to Portugal and Spain to stay with some of his family members to cut costs and save on money. Genius right? This all sounds pretty worth while no? A month away in a beautiful part of the world with your partner, what could possibly be so confusing and complicated?

What if everything didn’t make sense any more? What if the situation wasn’t as clear as it use to be? When I say situation, I am referring to the relationship. What if the nature of the relationship had changed along the way? What if it became selfish and one-sided? What do you do then? What if it was based on a viscous circle where the two just never meet? Can your heart be there and not at the time time? If it isn’t, do you give up and walk away? Do you try and salvage what is left in hopes of restoring it?

What if you know whole heartily that things will never change and only progressively get worse? You want to be happy, but don’t know what happiness is. You would of sacrificed everything you had to make sure someone else’s dreams were made possible, but in reality, knew the favour if need be would never be returned. Do you hold on? Who is truly the selfish one?

For every moment reality set in, your heart became an open door. The circle was broken and not even the worlds strongest adhesive could fix it. The circle became exposed to external influence and all of it’s contents inside had slowly seeped out.

This all seems pretty vague, but the connections can be made.

The point is, I have already committed to going and spent the money on a flight and accommodations that I will not be able to get back. Matt is aware of my indecisiveness, but it not affected by it. His path is set and I can “tag along” if I want. Please tell me that I am not the only person who sees a problem with this mentality? This is the mentality I have been battling for past year. Before you start with the personal attacks with who’s fault it is, keep in mind you are not aware of the investments that were made. I am aware of the signs and deep down, want to believe to know what is best for me. But I have to make this mistake to find out.

This is not entirely a giant mistake though. This is a perfect opportunity for me to go there and find direction. Clear my mind, figure out what my next move is going to be to better my life. This is time I need to take care of myself and truly figure out, what does Jenn want? What will make her happy?

I will take all blinders off on this trip. Nothing to  conflict my thoughts. I am leaving my heart behind so my mind can think freely. If there was one thing I always promised myself in life, it was that I would be successful and serve a purpose. I know I am more then capable of that then what I have been producing lately. I need to navigate my life better. I might be young, but times ticking and it’s easier to do things now then when you are in your 30s- 40s.

This trip will be a life and self discovery mission for me. I’ve wasted too much time focusing on other things in life. Other peoples happiness cannot be the reason I exist. I need to make myself happy first, and that’s exactly what I will do.

So as I leave behind my life here for a month, as I board that plane at 9 PM, I will start my life change.

– Jenna