I am writing this blog as my last words. For tonight, I may freeze to death in my sleep. I live in Toronto folks, the pretty city covered in ice, and no FUCKING POWER!!!! I’M GOING TO TURN INTO A FUCKING POPSICLE! I’M SICKER THEN A DOG! MY SNOT IS FROZEN,
PREVENTING ME FROM BREATHING!
THIS IS THE MOST SLOW AND PAINFUL WAY TO DIE! ICEAGE ALL OVER AGAIN! THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW! FUCK YOU ROB FORD! CALL A STATE OF EMERGENCY ALREADY! OR BEFORE I DIE, I WILL FIND YOU AND KILL YOU! AHHHHHH
Now I’m crying because I think the piece of tissue I stuck in my left nostril to breath, is stuck in there for good :'(!
I want my heating back! 😥
I don’t want too die!
How the fuck did the Amish people fucking live like this! Did I even spell Amish right? Fuck it! I don’t care anymore!
I think I got Vicks in my eye! 😥 I can’t see!
Snot icicles everywhere!
Yah! A fucking cold! *cough cough* I’m leaking from every orifice of my FACE! Attractive right? Fucking NO!
I sound like a retarded Seal when I try and talk. Apparently my new nickname is Snuffles. It sounds like a puppet from Mr. Dressup! Ugh! I almost always piss myself when I sneeze! I feel like a 80 year old woman with a bladder problem!
I’m desperately trying not to go to the doctor because I don’t want to violate my body with medicine. So instead, I decided to torture myself a different way. You know what’s worse then drinking Apple cider vinegar in your water? Up chucking the apple cider vinegar water all over yourself and the kitchen table because it tastes like dirty asshole! Don’t ask me how I know what that tastes like! Cause I don’t! I can only assume it would be very very BAD!
I also decided to poison myself with oregano oil in my water. It’s fucking putrid! Like, I would rather drink rat piss! Just thinking of it makes me vomit in my mouth. Fuck.
Wanna know what’s more flattering? Walking around with tissue stuffed in one nose hole so I can breath! Yah! If that’s not hot i don’t know what is.
Kill me …