I can not even begin to explain how guilty I am of this, minus the abusiveness. I probably have had these dreams 3 times, last night being the third.
It is so funny how your mind in an unconscious state, can have such an effect on what’s reality! I wake up SO pissed off! I will sit up and look at him and wish fucking death upon him. This anger that is completely stupid and irrational just builds inside of me, as I look at his stupid,sleeping and peaceful FACE! I just have this urge to suffocate him with a pillow, how DARE you cheat on me! In my DREAM! AHAH! Do you know how fucking crazy that sounds?!?
Can you imagine explaining that one to the cops. “Uh, I killed him because he cheated on me officer! I saw it! I was there! When? Last night!….Where?… Oh….In my dream”
Consider yourself locked up away for LIFE in a crazy house with white padded walls!
I usually tell him in the morning, mainly because I have this pissed off and distant attitude.
“What’s with that ugly slab ass look on your face Jenn? Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”
“Matt, if you ever touch Bethany, I’ll personally cut off your dick. I’m forewarning you.”
The best is when he tries to kiss me good morning and I face-palm him.
“Don’t you dare touch me. Don’t even think about it. Do you know what you did in my dream last night? You fucking cheated on me. Yeah that’s right, you heard me..”
*Sigh* I can’t help it that I’m bat shit crazy 😦 I want to change, I really do….AHAH! NOT! My mental disorder brings personality to my relationship! I wouldn’t change it for the world 😀
Six more day’s till vacation What What! *Dance’s in chair*
Can I just take a moment here to mention that I don’t actually have a mental disorder. But even if I did, I wouldn’t willingly admit to it! HA