I’m Back!..With a 30 Day Weight Loss Challenge?

Okay, so…I’ve been MIA for how long now? I’ve lost track of EVERYTHING!

Let me start off by saying I don’t even live in the same Province anymore! I’ve moved thousands of miles out West across Canada. In the past year, I have dealt with a lot of loss. I lost my Grandmother to a hemorrhagic stroke… I lost my boyfriend of 5 years because he decided he was going to cheat on me. I lost one of my best friends just because? I essentially lost myself. I fell into depression, severe anxiety and panic attacks… just a complete wreck.

Over the past few months since January, I have made serious changes to my life. I meditate now and do Yoga? Never did that stuff in my entire LIFE. I went vegan for a while which I’ve done before. But most importantly, I left my entire life back in Toronto, Ontario that I’ve built for 27 years. Why? Because I can and because I direly needed to.

Now, the reason being for this post is because I want to really challenge myself. Sadly, through everything I have gone through.. I have lost serious amounts of willpower, self control and determination. Through writing again, I am hoping it might help me stay focused and on track with my goals. Plus, its always good to voice your shit to people who will judge you blindly 🙂

So, get ready WordPressers! Starting tomorrow June 1st I’m going to fill your newsfeed with bullshit of my shitty workouts and weight loss bird food diets! Kidding.. I wouldn’t eat bird food… But I would eat rabbit food 😉

 

Ps. Jenna is back

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But, do you Nominate?

First thing’s first…What award logo? lol

Okay Paul, you win. I will accept one of your nominations lol. Although, I don’t really know what I’m doing since I’ve never done one of these things before… Actually, I avoid these things like the plague.

With that being said, I’ve been nominated for the … for the… Hey Paul! Is it the “Real Neat Blog award”? So confused lol.

Okay, lets take a shot at this, it feels right. I’ve been nominated for the Real Neat Blog award by Paul Captains Speech, one of my more loyal followers who oddly thinks I’m funny! But, it works because his blog actually makes me laugh! So I appreciate you! We have a mutual ego boosting blogging friendship! Oh, and thank you for nominating me!

Because we have such a mutually good understanding, he knows I just copied and pasted the rules right from his blog. No need for copyright 🙂

Here are the rules for this award:

Put the Award Logo on your blog
Answer seven questions by the person who nominated you
Thank the person who nominated you, linking to their blog
Nominate any number of blogs for the award, linking to their blog
Let them know that you nominated them for the award

I am guessing this is where I answer your seven questions 🙂

1. What was the first job you ever had?

Hmm, first job I ever had was working in a banquet hall as coat check. I then ended up taking on many other jobs within that same banquet hall later on.

2. Which do you prefer: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

I actually prefer breakfast. My logic is that since it is the first meal of the day and, you have all the time in the world to burn it off, you can eat whatever the heck it is you want!

3. If you had $100 in your pocket, what would you spend it on?

Video games on steam that I have sitting in my wishlist lol

4. Fries or onion rings?

Both? You know in some places you can get half and half… But if you must only pick one… I’m going with fries.

5. What was your favourite movie as a child?

Once upon a forest. I watched that movie so many times I broke it. Or it self destructed in the VCR.

6. How fast can you say the alphabet backwards?

I just tried and failed miserably… also, bit my tongue. 😦

7. When was the last time you flew a kite?

What if I told you, I’ve never flown a kite! What IF I told you instead, I flew tissue box…. I’m not kidding. It’s pathetic isn’t it.

Alrighty then! This is where I nominate specially and carefully hand picked people.

Navigator– One of my favourite bloggers I have had the luxury of coming across from the start. He hasn’t blogged in a while so, I’m hoping this sparks something 🙂

Food 4 Your Mood– A recent follower that I followed back. She was in tune with my 14 day smoothie detox and I would like to get to know a few things about her!

Silence Says It All– Same as the above blogger. On one of my 14 day smoothie blogs, he said he was going away to Cuba with his daughter who apparently sounds alot like me! So I’m curious now!

Project Light To Life– She is a bucket list blogger who I’ve really enjoyed reading her posts from the day I started my blog. She is extremely inspirational and knows how to live!

Now, time for my seven questions :

1. What is your favourite genre of music?

2. Do you have a place you go to escape/unwind?

3. Did/do you play any musical instruments?

4. Do you prefer to write in black or blue ink?

5. What was your favourite childhood board/video game?

6. Disco balls or lava lamps?

7. Left or Right handed?

What Is She up To Now?!

Oh hey! Yes it’s true! I still roam the earth.

Since 2015 started it has been needless to say INSANE! I barely find time to pee any more. No seriously.

Anyway! I’m not going to even bother trying to backtrack… It would take a century.

Okay! So what is it this time?…

IT’ S A 14 DAY SMOOTHIE PLAN! WOOO HOOOO!!! *party cracker sound* No?

YAH! That’s right! I’m going to share with you my 14 day smoothie diet/detox plan that I will torture myself with!

Why? Why on earth would you do that? Well, let me be frank. I suck at diet or detox plans. I typically  last 2 days at most before I turn into a giant bitch. Why do I turn into a giant bitch? Well, it’s simple. Blended fruits and vegetables are not considered a source of food on its own. This is my opinion of course. I need food. Real. Food. Meat, Fish, Rice, Pasta, Bread, Food. I’m obviously exaggerating. But I can drink all the smoothies I want and still be starving because my stomachs all like ” WTF IS THIS LIQUID NONSENSE! FEED ME STEAK BITCH!”… hence why I turn into the devil! I am in constant state of starving to death! I like to eat… I need food to be happy. No joke.

I also need the motivation because well, lets be honest here. Diets that involve a lot of fruits and vegetables, or anything healthy for that matter, will run you a pretty penny. It will end up costing you an arm, a leg, a liver, kidney, a spleen, and in this case because I need to add things that will make my stomach believe there IS food ( seeds, protein powders and other healthy dust shit, etc) why not throw in an entire breast. Ugh.

So initially I was planning on doing a month, but then I was like… who am I kidding. I don’t even think I will last a week! I personally think at this point 14 days is setting the bar to high, but why not humour myself and see how long I can last.

I thought to myself, maybe! Just MAYBE! If I do this publicly… If I fail… everyone will see what a failure I am… But then I remembered I could just delete the posts..hehe.

NO! I will do this! So get ready folks! Get ready for 14 days of bitching, crying, suicidal thoughts and tendencies, emotional breakdowns, and of of course PICTURES! =D  Pictures of all the pretty smoothies I make! YAY?

Isn’t that a boatload of exciting-ness?! Pfft. Whateverrrrrr…. It’s not like I have anything better to write about (lol) Truth.

See ya when I get my Nutri Ninja in the mail! Should be any day now! In the meantime, I’m going to go make me a sandwich. Mmmmm mortadella and salami sandwiches.

KISSES! xoxox!

October?

Uh…Where the hell did October go? I swear a week ago it was September and we are already in the second last week! Did I slip into a comma of some sort? Being older blows! Time flies way too fast with age.

Anyway, October is one of my favourite months! The gorgeous colours, the comfortable crisp weather, all the festivals and shows that come to Toronto, and of course Halloween!

This month has been pretty eventful I must say. Maybe that’s why it ended so fast.

I went apple picking the day after Thanksgiving. I made apple sauce for DAYS! Did you know you can cause yourself serious constipation with the over consumption of apple sauce? No wonder babies get so easily backed-up ! They are fed way too much apple piss.

Just yesterday I had the luxury of attending Buffer Festival thanks to my best friend Melissa, and seeing one of my many favourite YouTubers! I was so nervous and excited that after the meet and greet… My legs were so shaky I fell down the stairs exiting the stage. Of course leave it to me to make a complete ass out of myself. Moments before I even got on stage, I had a hard laugh at another female who had fallen down the exact stairs in utter shock from meeting her idol. Karma?

November is just around the corner which means it’s time to break out the festive decor!! I can let the Christmas whore out for the next 2 months 😉
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

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November is also the time of the year you stop wasting money on razors and waxing !

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Okay I’m just kidding, that is beyond repulsive. At least keep Jumanji in your underwear.

&& Photo Booth

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One Is The Loneliest Number

One Is The Loneliest Number- Three Dog Night

So as I was showering, I don’t even know HOW but this song popped in my head! I haven’t heard it since I was 10 or 11! How weird!

Well it is a catchy song!

Enjoy!

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One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It’s the loneliest number since the number one

No is the saddest experience you’ll ever know
Yes, it’s the saddest experience you’ll ever know

‘Cause one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
One is the loneliest number, whoa-oh, worse than two

It’s just no good anymore since you went away
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday

One is the loneliest number
One is the loneliest number
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
One is the loneliest
One is the loneliest
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do

It’s just no good anymore since you went away (number)
One is the loneliest (number)
One is the loneliest (number)
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do (number)
One is the loneliest (number)
One is the loneliest (number)
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do (number)
One (one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do)(number)
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do (number)
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do

But I Gotta Have It!

So the other day I was talking to my mom and she decided to poke fun at me about all my crazy “obsessions” growing up. Some of them I thought were pretty fun, others, just weird. Anyway’s! So I decided to make a post about all the things I was apparently “obsessed” with and HAD to have! These are in no particular order at all.

Tamagotchi’s

I was a major die hard junkie for these things! I remember having like 12 at one point all at the same time! If you don’t know what a Tamagotchi is, well then you aren’t cool enough. Basically, it is a needy two-bit animal-alien thing that in order to live and grow, needs to be fed, played with, giving it medication if it gets sick and cleaning it’s shit (literally)..Then they grow up and eventually die. Or you neglect them and they die anyway’s. Really gives a child the sense of responsibility. HA!  The best part about this obsession, I was like 6 or 7 years old and in school all day. Plus, these toys were banned from being in class. SO, my mommy had to take care of all 12 for me :). As she retold the story, one day 4 or 5 of them died because she was too “busy” to take care of them, and when I got home for school I freaked out and accused her of murder. Told her she was a horrible babysitter and I would never leave my children with her again! Oh Jenn HAHA! This faze died at the age of 9 I believe.

Gel Pens

I could NOT get enough of these things! I had boxes and pencil cases FULL of these magical pens!! From glitter, to neon, glow in the dark, pastel, you name it! I was that rainbow child that only wrote in colours. Really pissed off the teachers especially when I wrote with highlighter green or yellow, even attempted writing in white once. Oh the memories! I got a new package once a week! I would cry when one of them stopped working or explode (which happened a lot). There was a point where I couldn’t leave a store WITHOUT a package of gel pens. LOVED them. Still do 🙂

Love2Love Bears

You probably don’t know what the hell these toys are. If you do, I’ll be surprised! This was my other stupid “obsession” that mommy had to take care of. This small key-chain battery operated bear was useless to say the least. It’s soul purpose was that scented baby bottle attached to it. It contained the smell of a certain fruit depending on which colour bear you bought. The bear it’s self had only 2 functions. Make nurturing sounds when you shoved the baby bottle into the hole in it’s face, and his nose would light up like Rudolf the red-nose reindeer. Useless, but NEEDED to have all of them.

Sailor Moon

I needed to be picked up everyday for lunch in elementary school to get my Sailor Moon fix. It was like crack to me. I recorded all the episodes onto VHS tapes so I could re-watch them when it wasn’t on. I had all the character dolls and could re-enact all the episodes with them. Sad I know. Till this day I can still sing the entire theme song. Kill me now.

The Spice Girls

Yep, I was obsessed with them. My room was decked out in posters and spice girl bubble gum stickers. I owned every album and dragged my mom to see their movie in theatres. Also, I ended up watching the movie so much, the VHS tape broke…*sigh* My favourite one was Victoria spice until she turned into Christian Bale from the movie The Machinist.

Pokémon 

Gotta catch them all was right! I was and still am obsessed with Pokémon! Like sailor moon, I needed to watch all the episodes AFTER school, recorded them all on VHS, collected ALL the cards (still have them) owned all the video games (still play them) and even battled the cards in the hallways at school like a loser. I bought a pack of cards a day after school at the local smoke shop with my birthday/Christmas money. I can sing the entire theme song even now! Proudly 🙂

Waffle and Ice Cream Sandwichs

I would want this for breakfast EVERY morning! Actually, I NEEDED this for breakfast every morning! I would refuse to go to school unless I got my Vanilla ice cream and waffle sandwich! Who the hell wants toast and cereal when you can have this godly piece of art?!? Maybe that’s what I was bowling ball when I was younger :/..MEH!

Nintendo Magazines

I hoarded these magazines and still do. I own ALL the retro ones and sometimes like to skim through them for nostalgia. I would read them ALL the time. Even during reading period in school, I would pull 3 or 4 our of my desk to read. Sometimes I would hide them in my actual school books and read them during class or lectures. I unfortunately got caught one day and had them confiscated. Cried for 5 days and wrote a nasty letter to the teacher and principle demanding my life back. My <span style=”text-decoration: underline;”>life</span> back? My god…Child logic.

National Geographic

I had and still have a membership with these guys. I have a bookshelf dedicated to these magazines. I started reading them at the age of 5. I also made a stink of owning my fathers older collection so I could have an “official” collection.  Before a bookshelf, I use to just stack them in the basement near the bar till one day they fell over and almost killed my cat. Death by leaning tower of National Geographic’s anyone?

Kevin Bacon

Okay, I don’t even know how to explain this one. The first movie I had watched him in was Apollo 13, fell madly in love with him, and became “obsessed”…After that movie, I saw Hallow man and I was sold. I wanted to marry this man, possibly bare his child. It was absolutely the funniest thing apparently to my family. My uncle one day while I was at his house just drooling over a DVD cover of Kevin Bacon on it, decided to taunt me and say “Bacon is for eating, not for loving”…*sigh* That “obsessive crush” lasted an entire year. Yikes!

The Sims

This is obviously pertaining to just the initial “The Sims” game. I had played a bootleg version of it one day at my neighbours house and I just HAD to have this game! Who doesn’t want to Simulate their own freaking life?! I want to build a house from scratch and destroy simulated lives for fun! This is all I talked about day and night! At home and at school! I NEEDED it! SO, I saved up money for months till I was able to purchase the game! I remember as if it was yesterday! I got it from Zellers! It costed me 50 something bucks but I was the happiest moron alive! I couldn’t wait to get home and load this bad boy! To my surprise though, when I tried to run and install the CD…NADA…I had failed to look at the operating system requirements to run the game. Windows 95 or higher. Dude, I was sporting a Windows 3.1 like a boss. There was no way this game was going to work. I must of cried from disappointment for like 2 weeks. Searching every possible way to try and make it work on a Windows 3.1..It never happened…a year later, we ended up getting a Windows 98. I also had purchased every single expansion pack in the meantime…Go big or go home.

Aloe Juice

I would pound down 2-3 bottles of these a day. My obsession with this beverage got to the point where I had milked the convenience store DRY! They were out of stock for 2 weeks at one point because of me. I HAD to have aloe juice with every lunch and dinner or I wouldn’t eat. Nuts, absolutely nuts

Popping Blackheads

I had/have a really big obsession with popping these things! Mine and other peoples! I have a horrible habit of scoping them out just about anywhere. You can bet your bottom dollar that if I am talking to you and spot one, chances are I’m dying to ask you to pop them or let me do it. It is SOOOO bad that I have gotten SLAPPED by friends for trying to pop their blackheads without their consent…. It’s sick, I know, I have problems, but I am NOT the only person out there like that. I know many!

Sum 41

When I was in grade 10 there was a point in my life where I could NOT sleep unless I had Sum 41 playing on my walkman (No, I did not own an mp3 player) I would have to put this particular CD on loop every…single…night….after listening to the other songs on different albums at least once. So basically, I had to listen to every Sum 41 song ever made to sleep. What the actual F***!

Disney Underwear

I own about 53 pairs of Disney underwear in total too date. Which of course, I’ve been told not wear any more.. *sad face* I have been told so many times that it is illegal to be with me since it can be considered as paedophilia. What!?!?! Can’t a grown woman not wear what she wants?!?! Besides, Victoria Secret is so yesterday 😛

Fire

So I was and still am a pyromaniac..Besides, the picture says it all! O00h and I love the smell of matches! Mmmmm

 Crossword and Word searches

There would be tons of newspapers with missing squares lying around everywhere! I would buy the newspapers, cut out the crosswords and word searches and then make a booklet out of them. Cause I’m cool like that. Couldn’t just buy an actual book right? *sigh* I would make sure I did 3-4 puzzles a day! It was a MUST. My parents oddly hated this obsession. It lasted 2 years.

Sunflower Seeds

This was the worst obsession/addiction EVER!! It was so unhealthy and messy! I can’t believe I didn’t contract hypertension from all the salt I would intake from these things! I would sit there and by the handful, suck all the salt off, spit them all out, and then proceed to eat them. Watching me do this was beyond disgusting and painful to watch. My mom would sit there and just bitch at me to stop instead of actually taking them away. “Jenn, look at the mess you’re making”… “you’re lips are bleeding”…”you are going to end up choking”..”why are you so repulsive?”… I swear I continued this “obsession” just to piss her off. I miss it.

Christmas

I have and will ALWAYS be OBSESSED with Christmas! My room looks like the North Pole when I am done decorating it. You can find me decked out in Santa hats and reindeer antlers. I’m usually pounding back eggnog and then throwing up because I cant drink milk or consume eggs. (Poison) I have Christmas music on ALL the time. All the radio stations are set to 98.1 CHFI because it’s 24 hours of non stop Christmas music! YAY!!! This can easy piss everyone off. I watch the Santa Clause Parade every year and make people watch it with me ( I hate being happy alone) plus, all those awesome movies and shows like Frosty the Snowman, Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer, It’s a Wonder life etc…  and! I make sure the Christmas lights and tree are up in November. Obsessed? Nah!

Fishtail Braids

About a year and a half ago, I would do these EVERYDAY just because I wanted wavy pretty hair! I would wake up super early to shower and make them so by the time I had to leave for work, my hair would be dry and wavy when I took the braid out. I do this occasionally now because I am too freaking lazy. It is so worth it though! Pretty HAIR! 🙂

Estrella Damm Beer

New obsession since I came back from Europe is this beer. I cannot get enough of this liquid crack in a can. It is Godly too me. Thank you Spain, thank you.

There you have it. Now you know. I’m nuts. 🙂