I’m Back!..With a 30 Day Weight Loss Challenge?

Okay, so…I’ve been MIA for how long now? I’ve lost track of EVERYTHING!

Let me start off by saying I don’t even live in the same Province anymore! I’ve moved thousands of miles out West across Canada. In the past year, I have dealt with a lot of loss. I lost my Grandmother to a hemorrhagic stroke… I lost my boyfriend of 5 years because he decided he was going to cheat on me. I lost one of my best friends just because? I essentially lost myself. I fell into depression, severe anxiety and panic attacks… just a complete wreck.

Over the past few months since January, I have made serious changes to my life. I meditate now and do Yoga? Never did that stuff in my entire LIFE. I went vegan for a while which I’ve done before. But most importantly, I left my entire life back in Toronto, Ontario that I’ve built for 27 years. Why? Because I can and because I direly needed to.

Now, the reason being for this post is because I want to really challenge myself. Sadly, through everything I have gone through.. I have lost serious amounts of willpower, self control and determination. Through writing again, I am hoping it might help me stay focused and on track with my goals. Plus, its always good to voice your shit to people who will judge you blindly 🙂

So, get ready WordPressers! Starting tomorrow June 1st I’m going to fill your newsfeed with bullshit of my shitty workouts and weight loss bird food diets! Kidding.. I wouldn’t eat bird food… But I would eat rabbit food 😉

 

Ps. Jenna is back

Reality Check

Listen bitch, your going to the Dominicans in October so stop inhaling Philly’s chocolate cream-cheese spread like it’s air! Your lazy ass still works in that place you wish would spontaneously combust. Fix it! You most likely just gained 4.5 pounds in the last hour because you decided to scarfed down that remaining half of cherry pie, fucking lard ass. So don’t even consider trying to fit in that 2 piece bathing-suit you ordered online from Victoria Secret. Victoria’s got a secret, let me tell you, your prosciutto legs aren’t fitting in that bikini bottom -.- , AND! Nobody reads what you write cause they don’t give a fuck! *cries* The truth is, you are most likely going to eat some chocolate covered almonds like the true hossalofalous you are, go look at yourself in the mirror, get depressed, and then take a shower while you cry,aggressively brushing through your tangled rats nest you call hair and spraying conditioner everywhere in the shower. Like fucking Mickey Mouse in Fantasia. This is what you usually do. You tend to believe showering will wash away all your problems. Well guess what! It WON’T !

This is me giving me a dose of reality since I’ve been living in LALA Land lately. I don’t even know where I sleep any more. My room looks like a pig STY! Bed? What bed? I can’t even call ‘it’ a bed! I’m not a messy person at all! This is how I know something’s wrong! Come on Jenn! Get your act together! You are starting to look and smell like a cave woman! Speaking of smell…..what the fuck is that? Oh, It’s my dog. I haven’t gotten around to bathing that hairy mutt all summer. I’ve basically relied on the rain to do that for me which, surprisingly made it worse?

I’m a barbarian! Hopeless. GAH