The Sad Reality of Covid-19

It’s true, Covid-19 has single handedly turned the lives of many upside down. The term Covid fatigue has 101 meanings. Tired of wearing masks, tired of social distancing, tired of screening and being screened every time you leave your house. Tired of not being able to live a “normal” life. The list goes on.

What about being tired of doing everything you can and more to not contract or spread the virus? How about being tired of living in fear of being the cause of taking someone’s life?

As a law abiding citizen who follows the rules and the advice of public health experts, I do my part. I leave my house to go to work because I have no choice. I sit on the bus and train everyday for 1.5 hrs each way to make a small paycheck every two weeks. I do this from 5am-5pm every, single, day.

I wear a mask. Three to be exact. Creating an 11 layer barrier from you while commuting on public transportation. I slowly suffocate myself in hopes to prevent getting sick. I then wear a mask at work for 8 hours a day. I do NOT complain about it…not because I want to, but because I have to.

On weekends, I wake up at 6:30am on a Saturday to be one 5 people in the grocery store to gather food and supplies for both me and my parents who I reside with at the time being. I come home and disinfect EVERYTHING. I remove my clothes everyday at the front door when I come home to make sure I bring nothing in that could infect my high risk parents. I social distance from EVERYONE. I do all this and more.. just to protect myself and others.

Are you doing everything you can do to protect me?

Let me ask you something, are you tired of not being able to see your significant other for almost a year? Chances are, this does not relate to you. But for me, this is a constant battle.

In November 2019, I made the decision to move back home to Toronto, ON from Edmonton, AB where I lived for 3 years with my significant other. He needed to be there to finish his schooling in electrical to gain his ticket. I made this choice to be closer to my family who needed me. I made this decision unknowingly that Covid-19 would shackle me down.

January 1st 2020 I physically said goodbye to my partner for the last time as I dropped him off at the airport. By physically I mean hugged and kissed. I have not touched him since. At the time, it hurt to say goodbye. Prior to that, I had not seen him since I moved back home from Edmonton. He came to visit me for the holidays. So a total of one and a half months of not seeing each other sucked. It felt like forever. But I thought to myself, I’ll visit him soon. Maybe in a month or two.

March 2020, days before the lockdown.

March break was just around the corner. I had planned on visiting him for a weekend. Sadly, myself and many others were laid off. Sitting ducks, just hoping for a green light. I practiced social distancing. I mean, I REALLY practiced social distancing. I could write the “how to” book.

In June I got the green light. Back to work I went. Things seemed to be getting better. A little glimmer of hope. Perhaps, sometime soon it will be safe to travel. Maybe, soon we will be able see each other again.

Day after day, the same routine. Never have I become lax. Never do I disobey rules and restrictions. I take this very seriously, for you and for me.

But here we are. On the verge of another lockdown. But why? Is it because you have to go to a restaurant with your friends? You have to have house parties? Feel the need to congregate? Flights are cheap so why the fuck not? Because your greedy need to live your life consumes you?

Congratulations. Thank you for ruining life for everyone else who follows the rules. The same people who also want to start living their lives again.

It was my partners birthday in July. I told myself “ the numbers are low. Perhaps it is possible, maybe it will be safe enough”. However, after many conversations, research, and common sense, I decided to wait. I decided it was not worth the risk to potentially get infected on the plane either there or back. We both agreed to wait it out.

If everyone would do the same, think the same, follow protocols the same.. perhaps our numbers would not be so high. If people would just STOP and THINK for a god damn minute.. maybe, just maybe.. we would not be in this situation.

Next month is my birthday. It is Christmas and New Year’s Eve. My significant other will be all alone with no family. All his family is here in Ontario. I wanted ever so badly to be able to go be with him for the holidays. I thought by now, things would be better. But they are not. They are worse.

The round trip flight to Edmonton for a week during the holidays is absolutely insane. $240.00!!! Prices have never been that low! Especially for the holidays. While most people will certainly take advantage of this, I will not. I will not risk the health of my loved ones to fill a selfish need. I will not be the cause of a spread.

It breaks my heart to think of him sitting alone in his apartment on Christmas Day or New Year’s Eve. Depression is real, and people are struggling to see a light at the end of the tunnel. On January 1 2021, it will mark an entire year of being apart. An entire year of only seeing each other through a screen. An entire year of sleeping together on the phone. All we want is to be able to hold each other again.. and you are making it impossible. If I had the money, I would buy an entire plane to myself just to see him.. but obviously I can’t. He can’t come here because he would have no were to quarantine god forbid he fell ill. This is not living..not even close.

Call me paranoid, call me a sheep, call me whatever you want. But I call it being safe. I call it being tired of this “new norm”.. I want my life back. I want to travel, I want to see my friends, hug my partner, see my coworkers faces when they smile. I want to sit at a coffee shop with a friend and laugh about the good times. I want to not worry on my way to work or home that someone on the bus could be a carrier. I want to not feel the need to punch someone in the throat for not wearing a mask. This whole situation has made me an angry person.. a bitter person.. I trust no one.. and for good reason. People are selfish and only think about themselves and their short term wants and desires.

I want my future to be better. Not this life.

Stop embracing this “new norm”.. fight it.

Wear your mask. Stay home if you can. Stop gathering. Stop travelling unless you REALLY have to. Just STOP.

I do not care if you believe this is real or not. Just do your fucking part and STOP the spread.

Please, I am begging you…just…..stop.

INTO THE BLACK- CHROMATICS (2012)

Lyrics

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My, my
Hey, hey
Rock and Roll
Is here to stay
It’s better to burn out
Than to fade away

My, my
Hey, hey
Out of the blue
Into the black
They give you this
But you pay for that
Once you’re gone
You can never come back
When you’re
Out of the blue
Into the black

The King is gone
But he’s not forgotten
This is the story of Johnny Rotten
It’s better to burn out than it is to rust
The King is gone but he’s not forgotten

Hey, hey
My, my
Rock and Roll
Can never die
There’s more to the picture
Than meets the eye
Hey, hey
My, my

My Trip To Italy

Being Italian and all, I had to visit my land! I traveled back in September 2018 for a week. It was something that was on my bucket list for the longest time that I was finally able to achieve.

The trip consisted of visiting three major cities Rome, Florence, and Venice. With small visits to Assisi, Siena, Bologna, Padua, and Montepulcino. I traveled with a friend that I wouldn’t say I am close with, nor an acquaintance. We use to work together as massage therapists in a clinic back in 2015. We keep in touch an hang out with some of the other girls we worked with at the clinic. I guess we also went as a group to the cottage two times back in 2016 and 2017. I had a pretty good sense of who she is out of work so I randomly said to her one day “we should travel to Italy together”.. she agreed with my proposal.

Two months after our discussion, the trip was booked. We decided that it would be best to fly to Italy together, so I got another plane home for the day before we were scheduled to leave Canada. This is it, my dreams are coming true, I am going to ITALY!

Here are some photos I thought I would share from my trip. There was literally thousands but I won’t torture you 🙂

Basilica of Saint Francis of Assisi

Views from Assisi

In the Piazza of Siena

Piazza Del Campo

Siena Duomo

Views from Piazzale Di Michelangelo Firenze

Statute of David

Arno River, Florence

Duomo and Santa Croce

Eating gelato ❤️

Last night in Rome 😦

Bologna

Piazza Bologna

Gondola Rides in Venice

Venice by night St. Mark’s Square (Piazza San Marco) Basilica di San Marco behind us

First Gonadal ride ❤

Views in Montepulciano (Tuscany)

Duomo Basilica de San Pedro

St. Peter’s Basilica

St. Peter’s Basilica – Rome

Ruins in Rome

Colosseum- Rome

Piazza di Spagna – Spanish Steps

Trevi Fountain

Trevi Fountain

Lotta Love – Nicolette Larson (1978)

Lyrics

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It’s gonna take a lotta love
To change the way things are
It’s gonna take a lotta love
Or we won’t get too far

So if you look in my direction
And we don’t see eye to eye
My heart needs protection
And so do I

It’s gonna take a lotta love
To get us through the night
It’s gonna take a lotta love
To make things work out right

So if you are out there waiting
I hope you show up soon
You know
I need relating not solitude

Gotta lotta love
Gotta lotta love

It’s gonna take a lotta love
To change the way things are
It’s gonna take a lotta love
Or we won`t get too far

It’s gonna take a lotta love
It’s gonna take a lotta love

*Skip to 1:07 if you want to get straight to the point. Otherwise, enjoy a great tune with feel good lyrics 🙂

Jenna

I’d Really Love To See You Tonight -England Dan& John Ford Coley (1976)

Lyrics

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Hello, yeah it’s been awhile
Not much, how ’bout you
I’m not sure why I’d called
I guess I really just wanted
To talk to you

I was thinking maybe later on
We could get together for a while
It’s been such a long time
And I really do miss your smile

I’m not talking ’bout movin’ in
And I don’t want to change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowin’ the stars around
And I’d really love to see you tonight

We could go walkin’ through a windy park
Take a drive along the beach
Or stay at home and watch TV
I see it really doesn’t matter much to me

I’m not talking ’bout movin’ in
And I don’t want to change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowin’ the stars around
And I’d really love to see you tonight

I won’t ask for promises
So you don’t have to lie
We both played the game before
Say I love you then say goodbye

I’m not talking ’bout movin’ in
And I don’t want to change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowin’ the stars around
And I’d really love to see you tonight

I’m not talking ’bout movin’ in
And I don’t want to change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowin’ the stars around
And I’d really love to see you tonight

I’m not talking ’bout movin’ in
And I don’t want to change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowin’ the stars around
And I’d really love to see you tonight

 

Enjoy this song! ❤

Jenna

The Dark of You – Breaking Benjamin (2018)

Lyrics

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It must have been inside my head
I lost the hope that I have left
And now at last it comes to pass
We sleep, we dream, we have no less
Along the path we lost our way
It’s all a game that I must play
And now the weak that fall
Return to ash, defeated after all

Fade away to the wicked world we left
And I become the dark of you
Say a prayer for the wounded heart within
As I become the dark of you

Let go
When all has come to life
We live, we breathe, we die
They call me to the light
Forever lost in time
With every dream we find
We feed, we burn, we lie
The fall of humankind
The everlasting light

Fade away to the wicked world we left
And I become the dark of you
Say a prayer for the wounded heart within
As I become the dark of you

Let go
When all has come to life
We live, we breathe, we die
They call me to the light
Forever lost in time
With every dream we find
We feed, we burn, we lie
The fall of humankind
The everlasting light

Fade away to the wicked world we left
And I become the dark of you
Say a prayer for the wounded heart within
As I become the dark of you

Let go
Save this selfish world
Save this selfish world
Let go
Save this selfish world
Save this selfish world

I Can’t Tell You Why – Eagles (1979)

Words cannot explain how much the Eagles mean to me. Their music has gotten me through so much over the past few years. If you ever want a trip down memory lane (for those of you who lived it) just listen to some of their hit tracks. I have honestly have too many “THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG” from the Eagles.. But I am just feeling this one today in particular 🙂 Also, the video is of them live which is always a treat to watch.

Enjoy! ❤

Lyrics

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Look at us baby, up all night
Tearing our love apart
Aren’t we the same two people who live
Through years in the dark?
Ahh
Every time I try to walk away
Something makes me turn around and stay
And I can’t tell you why
When we get crazy
It just ain’t to right (try to keep you head little girl)
Girl I get lonely too
You don’t have to worry
Just hold on tight (don’t get caught in your little world)
Cause I love you
Nothing’s wrong as far as I can see
We make it harder than it has to be
And I can’t tell you why
No, baby, I can’t tell you why
I can’t tell you why
Every time I try to walk away
Something makes me turn around and stay
And I can’t tell you why
No, no, baby, I can’t tell you why
I can’t tell you why
I can’t tell you why

Sister Golden Hair – America (1975)

Happy Family day to those who are celebrating today 🙂 Here is another great tune tune!

Enjoy! ❤

Lyrics

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Well I tried to make it Sunday, but I got so damn depressed
That I set my sights on Monday and I got myself undressed
I ain’t ready for the altar but I do agree there’s times
When a woman sure can be a friend of mine
Well, I keep on thinkin’ ’bout you, sister golden hair surprise
And I just can’t live without you, can’t you see it in my eyes?
I been one poor correspondent, and I been too, too hard to find
But it doesn’t mean you ain’t been on my mind
Will you meet me in the middle, will you meet me in the air?
Will you love me just a little, just enough to show you care?
Well I tried to fake it, I don’t mind sayin’, I just can’t make it
Well, I keep on thinkin’ ’bout you, sister golden hair surprise
And I just can’t live without you, can’t you see it in my eyes?
Now I been one poor correspondent, and I been too, too hard to find
But it doesn’t mean you ain’t been on my mind
Will you meet me in the middle, will you meet me in the air?
Will you love me just a little, just enough to show you care?
Well I tried to fake it, I don’t mind sayin’, I just can’t make it
Doo wop doo wop

How Much I Feel- Ambrosia (1978)

After my post yesterday, I got super excited about sharing music! I have spent the start of my morning this Sunday cleaning and listening to music. Music makes cleaning so much more enjoyable! Until you hit a song that makes you sweep and weep at the same time! SWEEP AND WEEP! … and we are off to a great start. 😀

Enjoy ❤

Lyrics

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I don’t know how this whole business started
Of you thinkin’ that I have been untrue
But if you think that we’d be better parted
It’s gonna hurt me, but I’ll break away from you
Well, just give me the sign and I will be gone, yeah
feel for you, baby
(How much I need) well I need your touch
(How much I live) I live for your loving
That’s how much (that’s how much)
That’s how much, that’s how much
I sleep alone, and late at night I’m dreamin’
Of the togetherness that seems to be leaving me
I’d give it all and then I’d give some more
If you would only love me like you had before
Well, take hold of my hand and all will be forgiven, yeah
feel for you, baby
(How much I need) I need your touch
(How much I live) I live for your loving
(That’s how much) that’s how much
That’s how much, that’s how much
So you try (try), try to stay in the middle
And then you cry (cry), well you cry just a little
Then you both realize
Just how foolish you’ve been
And you try to make amends
But you’re better off as friends
‘Cause that’s how much (that’s how much)
That’s how much, that’s how much
How’s your life been goin’ on?
I’ve got a wife now, years we’ve been goin’ strong
Oh, no, there’s just something that I’ve got to say
Sometimes when we make love
I still can see your face
Ooh, just try to recall
When we were as one, yeah
feel for you, baby
(How much I need) I need your touch
(How much I live) I live for your loving
That’s how much

 

 

Happy Valentine’s Day <3 – Inspired Post

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

It’s that time of year again where all the storefronts are covered in red balloons, stuffed animals, heart-shaped chocolates, and of course, cards!

I have never been that person who really cared about Valentine’s day. To be completely honest, the only good thing about it is the next few days after it. DISCOUNT CHOCOLATE FTW 😀

Being in a relationship or not never really changed the way I felt about February 14th. But if I was, the “boyfriend” is usually more gung-ho about it then me. I feel like I get more bothered by the person not saying the words “Happy Valentine’s Day” versus choosing not to physically celebrate it. Does that make any sense? I mean, don’t waste your money on things that are only going to make me fat like chocolates or huge dinners.  Let’s invest money to go on a trip instead of wasting it on jewelry that I will never wear.  A card is fine if you simply MUST spend money. But only if you write in it. Do NOT, I repeat do NOT just hand me a card written by Hallmark. I do have standards.

Personally, it’s always been the thought that counts and thoughts usually do not require money. There are so many cheap.. if not free, calorie friendly, less IN YOUR FACE things that are enjoyable to do for V-Day 🙂

Here are some ideas of things to do on V-Day but, are not exclusive to only V-Day of course:

Going for a walk or skating

Depending on where you live of course.. I live in the North Pole so this might not be the best idea…You could always go outdoor ice skating  if you are not sensitive to the cold. There is such a thing as free indoor community skating rinks too! If you are going for a walk, go somewhere romantic or special. I love nature, so walks in forest or in a creek always make me happy. Go somewhere with different scenery, fresh air, perhaps a place where you can see a really pretty view of the cityscape.

Cook/bake together

Obviously if you do not have things readily at home for you to use, you could go shopping for them. But then that could be just as expensive as going out for dinner (unless it’s McDonald’s run). I almost paid $11 for 4 avocados the other day….WHAT?!

Play video/board games together

This seems self explanatory, but I will elaborate in case. If you and your significant other enjoy video games, find games you are BOTH interested in that are 2 player (unless you like turn based games). Have a drink or make a drinking game out of it (if you drink that is). I elaborated on video games only since I don’t think you can play board games by yourself.. can you? I don’t know, who am I to judge.

Watch a movie

But not just any movie. Your favourite movie(s), or the first movie you two every watched together. Maybe your first date was at a theater! You could re-watch that film you saw and reminisce. Maybe find a movie you’ve both been wanting to see but haven’t had the time for. Or you could always watch a lovely dovey movie if that’s what floats your boat. Make some snacks and curl up on the couch or an air mattress.  Bada-bing-bada-boom. Well, that was ultra Italian of me :/ .. Not sure were that came from but okay.

Give each other massages

You read that right. Light a few candles, put on some ambiance music, and lather each other with oil. It doesn’t need to be a Grade A massage, touch is therapeutic by nature so it’s super relaxing and is a really good way to connect. Plus, it could always lead to fun stuff. But I’m PG *eyeroll* ..So lets keep it moving shall we!

Whatever the above idea leads too..

No description needed…bow chicka bow wow… super unnecessary. Sorry not sorry.

SAYING HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

Yes, actually saying the damn fucking words can be something you do if not anything else. You have NO idea how much of a PISS OFF it is to just pretend you are not annoyed all damn day because you never got told “Happy Valentine’s Day!” for 3 fucking years in a ROW until you finally explode with rage…This is not coming from a place of anger at all. Nah, not at all. Ahem.

That being said…

What are your favourite things to do today or what are things you would love to be surprised with? I would love to know!

Hope you all have a great day today!

Love,

Jenna